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Coup The Bitch is back! Long may she reign!

Dinner at the Palace. Hey is that the Survivor theme? How ingenious of them to make fun of a cultural landmark like Survivor. That's, like, never ever been done before. Leave it to Popular to be right there at the beginning of the trend, just eight months after the first season had its final episode. How do they keep it so fresh and current? Surely there must be a team of top-notch consultants advising the producers on the trends of tomorrow. Hey, maybe they can vote the parents off! That would be a great way to get rid of them. Unfortunately, it never happens because there's really very little about Survivor going on besides that theme music and a couple of jokes that Brooke makes about dinner that night resembling a tribal council meeting. Mike tells Brooke that she's grounded for two weeks and she's to break it off with Jamie despite the fact that Brooke apologizes for lying about something that turned out to be very innocent. Brooke appeals to Va-Jane-Ah for her to get Mike to stop treating her like a child. Before she can say anything, Mike's all, "as long as you live in my house you will live by my rules!" Brooke stomps out of the room. Sam is also to be grounded for one week. "I will not tolerate conspiracies in this house," says Mike. Okay, could someone please kill me the day I say in all earnestness, "I will not tolerate conspiracies in this house"? Unless, of course, I've found out that my children are, in fact, anti-government spies. Sam is all, "I didn't do anything! Mom, tell him!" Again, Va-Jane-Ah stops short of speaking out against Mike. Sam stomps out and Va-Jane-ah, sassy creature that she is and newly endowed with mother goddess-energy now that she's pregnant, clears the table.

The next morning, Jane has apparently tapped into a mother lode of mother goddess-energy because she's still cleaning the kitchen. Sam enters and starts hounding her mother over her punishment, claiming it's unfair that Mike is giving her the same punishment as Brooke when Mike's not even her own father. "I thought you were the one in charge of disciplining me!" Jane points out that although her punishment was harsh, she still lied and deserved to be punished. "Mike might not be your father, but he's your parent," says Jane. "I thought both of you wore the pants in this house," says Sam. "I guess I was wrong." Mike enters. Sam snubs him and leaves for school. Jane rips into him, sorta, for punishing Sam without consulting her about it. She also says she feels that Brooke is mature and can probably handle herself with a college boy. "Would you be so hard on her if Brooke were a seventeen year-old boy?" And then, just to show Mike how powerful and determined women like her and Brooke can be, she starts beating up some eggs for breakfast.

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