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Coup The Bitch is back! Long may she reign!

Novak. Carmen and Mary Cherry are primping at the mirror, giggling over what a loser Nicole has become. I love vengeful, bitchy Carmen. Could we keep her this way? Nicole enters from a stall wearing a baggy olive green "Pep Squad" warm-up suit. "Oh don't tell me that you've joined the spaz squad!" says Mary Cherry. "What other choice do I have?" says Nicole faux-earnestly. Carmen is all supportive of Nicole's determination to be involved no matter what. Nicole asks Carmen to sign a waiver allowing "The Peppers" back on the field. Apparently when Nicole was captain of the Glamazons, she wrote a bylaw that forbade "The Peppers" from appearing on the field during games because they were all so ugly. "What could it hurt?" asks Carmen. "She's no threat to us now." Carmen and Mary Cherry sign the waiver.

Next thing you know, the Glamazons are watching a Peppers practice -- only they've changed their name to "Bring It." Bring It On shout-out! They're doing a salute to Madonna's "Vogue" choreographed by April Tuna and costumed by Jean-Paul Gaultier. It turns out that Nicole, who is wearing a cone bra, has fired everyone in the pep squad and replaced them with all these hot Latin guys who used to dance for Madonna. Carmen and Mary Cherry are horrified at how stiff the competition is.

Kennedy Hallway. Brooke calls Jamie from a payphone. Didn't these girls once have cell phones? Brooke tells him she's grounded and can't see him this weekend. She tries to laugh it off and talk about what a silly inconvenience it all is. Jamie is all, "That's okay, sometimes things happen for a reason." Brooke is all, what do you mean by that? Jamie is all, "Nothing definitive. It's just that this is all just getting complicated. Maybe we should cool it for a while." Brooke starts to freak out and pretends the line is dying so she can get off the phone gracefully before he actually goes through with dumping her ass. That's actually a really smart move -- something I've never been able to think of at the right time. Nicole comes along, still wearing the Night Porter outfit except now it's reminding me of Mr. Furley's outfits on Three's Company. Brooke confides in Nicole concerning the situation with Jamie. Nicole convinces her to skip tomorrow's game and sneak off to be with Jamie. They smile at each other devilishly. I miss the old Nicole and Brooke pairing.

The Presidential Office. Nicole gets April to write several checks for "Bring It" expenses. April asks how she can afford all this with only sixteen dollars in the school account. Nicole admits that she's wired in money from her own personal trust fund -- which I thought she couldn't get her hands on a couple of episodes ago when she wanted to support Shaggy Louise. April commends her for her commitment and asks if she should cut the Glamazons yet. Nicole advises her to wait. "There's only one decisive victory," she reminds April. "The last." The subject is subtly changed to April's happiness. April admits that she's having problems in her relationship with Emory Dick. Nicole probes further and April shows her a videotape of some of their sexcapades. It turns out that Emory likes April to dress up as Little Bo Peep and follow his orders. "Take off your bonnet," says Emory off-camera to a traumatized-looking April. "Do as I say? Continue to do as I say!" Nicole feigns sympathy but smirks to herself when she asks April who else has a copy of this potential politically damaging piece of evidence. April tells her that only Emory and her have copies. "Oh," says Nicole.

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