This episode begins with a great big shout-out to all those Popular viewers in their thirties. Brooke is snoozing in the middle of some unidentified classroom and dreams of being on The Dating Game. Was Brooke even alive when The Dating Game was still in reruns? Sugar Daddy is the emcee. Brooke is the Bachelorette that the Bachelors are competing for, and she’s dressed in Barbie pink and looking all "don’t you want to feed me?" cute. Bachelor #1 is a cocky blond guy we’ve never seen before named Stone Cold Surfer. As if Mr. and Mrs. Surfer actually stood in front of the incubator saying to each other, "He’s beautiful, darling, let’s call him Stone Cold!" Stone Cold looks like a blond Matt Lattanzi on steroids. And when I say Matt Lattanzi, I’m not talking about the heavy balding ex-Mr. Olivia Newton John. I’m talking about the sweet kid who starred in My Tutor in the days before he disappeared into matrimony with Aussie proto-Meg Ryan and inspired an entire chapter in You’ll Never Make Love In This Town Again. Brooke asks Stone Cold what he’d say if he ran a personal ad. Stone Cold tells Brooke that he doesn’t need a personal ad, but if he did it would say, "Available: One lean mean love machine. Invest in ceiling mirrors and high-wattage bulbs because you’re gonna wanna leave the lights on, baby!" He gives a high five to Bachelor #2, who is Josh, and the studio audience erupts into applause like they’re those guys in The Accused. Brooke questions Josh. She says that she loved "Shakey in Love," and it’s just so pert of her to have a pet name for Shakespeare and a shout out to Gwyneth so early on in the episode. Since she wants to date a "bard," she asks Josh to write her a poem on the spot. Josh’s poem goes, "Your lips are red/Your eyes are blue/All I want to do is look at you." "Well, what if my lips weren’t red and my eyes weren’t blue?" Brooke asks. Brooke, don’t go there. Discussions like those are never constructive. Josh’s revised poem is as follows: "Then I’d still love you and uh doo bee doo doo." He does that chuckle like he’s still keeping it cool in front of his buddies. And the audience moans because it’s so cornball. Bachelor #3 is Harrison, a.k.a. "Mr. Amorgan." Brooke asks him what would happen if their car had broken down on a cold snowy evening and they had to spend the night together in a roadside motel room with only one bed. The audience goes all horndog on Harrison until Harrison says that he’d want to stay up with her all night talking. The audience boos and Sugar Daddy throws his question cards up in the air in disgust, but Brooke is astonished at Harrison’s sensitivity. "Just talk?" she asks. The lights dim around Harrison and Brooke as Harrison explains further: "At night when the lights are out, people tell each other things they’d never tell each other during the day. I wanna hear about every thing -- about your childhood, your favorite color, what you want from a man -- what you want from life." Brooke looks like she’s a Barbie doll come to life because she experienced the true love of a mortal man in some weird piece of Young Adult Barbie fan-fic that I’m sure is out there somewhere. "Bachelor number three, what I want is a man like you," she says.