An unseen hand opens a notebook in which the words I know what you did last spring break are written on the first page. Drops of blood fall on the page, and a reverse shot indicates that Harrison is the notebooks owner. He is sitting in Chems class, and he has a nose bleed. I dont know about you all, but every time someone got a nosebleed at my high school, it was because they were on Accutane, the prescription acne medicine. When Accutane hit the market in 1984, there were all these people with bad skin whose faces cleared up all of a sudden but started having spontaneous nosebleeds in class. Unfortunately, there are no Accutane jokes during this episode, or any mention of such a phenomenon. Do the kids even take Accutane anymore? All of a sudden Im starting to feel old, because I remember the days when dermatologists only prescribed tetracycline for acne and how exciting it was to have a brave new drug to try. Anyway, Sam enters the classroom. Shes finally found a nice simple hairstyle. Its pulled back into a ponytail on the top of her head. From there it flares out in these spikes so she looks a bit like an onion, but still, its such an improvement. She takes a seat, giving Harrison a searching friendly look. Harrison gives her the stink-eye in return.
The bell rings. Chem enters the classroom and welcomes the kids back from spring break. In my day, says Chem, we went with Frankie and Annette to Fort Lauderdale. Now your generation seems to go straight to promiscuity. Funny she should mention Frankie, since Frankie Avalon was just a guest star on the Sabrina episode that just ended a moment ago. I wouldnt normally mention it, but since last week there was a Popstars reference right as Face Time was having Edens Crush as guest stars, Im getting the feeling that someone at the WB is encouraging synergy or shout-outs between the shows -- kind of how Tina Brown used to make all the stories in Vanity Fair refer to each other. She gives them a pop quiz essay-style. Everybody has to write down where they went for spring break and how many people they were intimate with so she can judge them all. Because, I guess, taking a non-prurient interest in the sex lives of minors placed in your care by the state is wacky and funny and not a form of sexual harassment at all. Like a flock of sheep, the class actually writes down their answers. A look of fear passes over Mary Cherrys face, and Nicole pauses for a moment to count her lovers on her fingers. Like, no one ever thought of lying? Although everyone else places their hands over their answers for privacy -- even the viewers cant see them -- Harrison's answer is shown clearly. He was in Yemen and intimate with one person. Yemen? Harrisons no longer a virgin? Where is this going? Furthermore, I keep waiting for someone like Lily to object to this invasion of privacy, but she doesnt make a peep. What is with her? Last week she ignored the classist implications of the SAT by being unusually complicit toward a hierarchical system, and now this? Im disappointed.