Credits. Again, Jamie Kennedy comes on to tell us that Face Time is brought to us by Dr. Pepper. And that Dr. Pepper makes the world taste better. But he says it with this ironic pseudo-seriousness, which I guess is supposed to be a secret signal to all of us that his heart isn’t really in shilling for a soft drink and he’s still that cool smirky guy we loved from the Scream movies. Nice try, Jamie.

Back in Harrison and Sam’s quarantined cell, Dr. Salk has brought them a parakeet. Apparently, if the bird dies in their presence within a day, it’s proof that they are infected with the virus. Harrison starts whining about having to share such close quarters with Sam, whom he hates. Sam reminds them that they are about to die, and that this isn’t fun for her either. Dr. Salk tells the “Honeymooners” to shut up and describes the slow painful death that’s heading their way, complete with nosebleeds and organ-liquefying fevers. I have to say that ever since I first laid eyes on Dr. Salk, I have been majorly crushing on her. She’s a small boned, slightly dyke-y but pretty blonde woman in her mid-thirties with just a touch of nerdiness -- just the sort of woman I know I’d totally go for if I were straight. Now that she’s giving major attitude to Sam and Harrison, the crush has become something more -- pure unadulterated love.

Chem’s class. Chem is giving her own lecture on Rift Valley Fever to her class, who have just been informed that they are also being quarantined until the CDC gives the “all clear.” She passes out thermometers and tells them to insert them into their rectums. Okay, that’s not funny; that’s just gross. And if I, the king of tasteless remarks, feel that something’s gone too far, that really says a lot. This time, for some reason, the class doesn’t just blindly follow her instructions like they did with the sex quiz. They put them in their mouths instead and wait for their temperatures to climb to organ-liquefying heights. Is anyone else grossed out, or at least bothered, by the notion that those thermometers were meant for another location? I distinctly remember reading somewhere that rectal thermometers don’t give accurate readings if you use them orally.

Mary Cherry’s cell phone rings. She takes her thermometer out of her ear and answers it.