Hello, Clarisse, says the sinister-sounding caller. Have the lambs stopped screaming? No, says Mary Cherry politely. Im afraid youve got the wrong number. The caller goes on to tell Mary Cherry that hes not calling for Clarisse but for her. And can I just ask, what is Populars obsession with Silence of the Lambs? He says that theres something more dangerous going on at this school than an epidemic, because he knows what she did last spring break. I went to Freaknik in Hot-lanta and I turned the mutha out. So? says Mary Cherry, looking around the room anxiously. This is a total shout-out to Sars, who was telling me not too long ago that she takes a perverse delight in always referring to Atlanta as Hot-lanta. The caller insists that he knows that she made another pathetic stab at fame. Does the name 'Booze Cock-A-Doodle-Doo-Monster' ring a bell? asks the sinister caller. Who is this? shrieks Mary Cherry at the top of her lungs. Leave me alone! Meanwhile, Carmen and Lily watch Mary Cherrys hysterics from their desk a row behind her and assume that some credit-card agency is after her. They go back to ignoring her distress -- as the rest of the class is doing. Lily slips out to use the bathroom (so that later, when Mary Cherry is stalked through the halls by a knife-wielding killer, well suspect its her, even though well be wrong just like in those slasher flicks!). You have no proof, says Mary Cherry to the caller. Caller tells her to look under her desk. She does, and there she finds a photo of herself from a low-budget horror film she tried out for. Mary Cherry screams even louder and demands to know who this is. The caller tells her to turn around. There, sitting behind her in plain view in a Scream mask and what seems to be a Michael Jackson wig, is the sinister knife-wielding caller. She begs Chem, who is calmly grading papers through all of this, to excuse her so she can run for [her] life! Chem lets her go, but tells her to stay on school grounds because of the quarantine. Mary Cherry takes off and runs through the empty Kennedy Halls with the masked killer right behind her. As you can imagine, they cover just about every horror-genre cliché in Mary Cherrys flight from the knife. She slips on a banana peel. She breaks into a fly-girl routine to avoid being stabbed. She screams in a far too photogenic fashion. Et cetera. Finally, she runs into Dr. Jeanne Salk, who tells her to stop running in the halls. Mary Cherry breathlessly explains that theres a killer on the loose. Of course, the killer is nowhere to be found now that Dr. Salk is there. She accuses Mary Cherry of hallucinating due to the Rift Valley Fever. Ill have to run some tests, says Dr. Salk. What kind of tests? asks Mary Cherry, on the verge of complete hysteria. Dr. Salk holds up a really really large syringe.
Episode Report CardGustave: C+ | 706 USERS: B-
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