Hallway. Josh and Lily stare at the signs advertising Chem's basement apartment and discuss the possibility of getting their own place. Apparently they've been living with Lily's mom, who's not too happy about her daughter getting married at the end of her junior year in high school -- jeez, what an uptight bitch! Is she part of some anti-sex cult or something? Furthermore, Josh is forced to sleep alone on the couch. Lily is all, "So that's what this is about! You're frustrated because we haven't consummated our relationship yet?" Josh explains that since they're married, it's not crazy for him to expect that they can "knock boots." Hey, Josh? This is the girl who pressed sexual harassment charges against you for touching her shoulder once in the hallway. What kind of erotic lifestyle were you expecting as Lily's husband? And while we're on the subject of Lily's virginity, now that we know she's clearly avoiding sex with Josh, what's up with that? I mean, if she's lawfully married and still not putting out, couldn't the writers clue us in as to what the problem is exactly? Is she still a lesbian? Is she not attracted to Josh? Are there sexual abuse issues? Does she simply not have a sex drive? Don't get me wrong. No one should have to have sex if they don't want to. Period. But if you are going to get married and your husband isn't a Hari Krishna or a Shaker, it's only fair that he should know what he's getting into if you are going to insist on an abstinent marriage. I mean, are the writers still stuck in that whole "virginity is virtue" thinking? Um, people? If Lily was stupid enough to get married while still in high school, I think the virginity issue is moot at this point, but that's me. And I love how, still, no one on this show has a bona-fide sex drive except for the dumb jock. Anyway, Lily sighs as if to say, "Whatever, my Neanderthal husband!" and goes off in search of Chem to apply for the apartment.
Another part of the hallway. Brooke approaches Sam, who is wearing a lilac-colored sleeveless top that appears to be made out of Mylar and seems to be a knock-off of something Helmut Lang did back in 1994. She suggests that they both ask Harrison to go to the prom as a threesome. Okay, remember that article in New York Magazine about all those Manhattan prep-school kids from rich families who'd rent hotel rooms for the weekend and have Ecstasy-fueled gang bangs, and any girls who wanted to be a part of the cool crowd had to offer herself up to the group? Between Lily and Josh's celibacy and this three-way prom date, the Manhattan gang-bangers are starting to look like normal fun-loving teens by comparison. Anyway, Sam is cool with this for some reason.