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Promblems

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"Who's your daddy" isn't necessarily a rhetorical question

The Novak. Nicole is primping in the mirror and wearing this shirt that I can't identify to save my life. It's powder blue with mesh panels and cut like one of those prairie blouses from the eighties, but it also has this seventies-style spread collar that extends out past her shoulders. It's not even trendy ugly. It's just ugly. Mary Cherry enters, looking almost as bad. She's wearing a long-sleeved white t-shirt with cut-outs in the shoulders and a red pattern on it that looks like she collided with someone who ate a whole bunch of Swedish Fish and then promptly threw up all over her. What happened? They both look like crap! I keep waiting for the plot explanation for their bad outfits, but apparently we are being asked to believe that this is everyday wear for them. Anyway, Mary Cherry asks Nicole to be her "lawfully wedded sister." Apparently MC has been inspired by Brooke and Sam's sisterly unity. Nicole listens, barely hiding her skepticism. "Now we just have to decide what kind of sisters we're going to be," says Mary Cherry. "Are we going to be like Mary Kate and Ashley who share everything, guest star on 7th Heaven together and would graciously allow the other sister to join the Bring It squad, or would we be sisters like Julia and Eric Roberts who, when not allowed on Bring It, never speak to each other again." "Bye Eric," says Nicole, exiting the Novak. Hee!

So then it's the moment we've all been waiting for from the previews: Bronx Latina Mary Cherry. She just shows up in the Novak. Doesn't anyone call or write ahead of time on TV anymore? Mary Cherry notices her and gasps to see what seems to be a mirror image of herself -- only her twin is all "street." She wears a bandanna around her head, rainbow wristbands, and a tank top with her nickname "B. Ho" emblazoned on its front in a graffiti font. At first they do this homage to Hayley Mills in The Parent Trap, moving their hands around and mirroring each other's movements so that Mary Cherry is even further confused. Finally, B. Ho introduces herself as Mary Cherry's long-lost twin sister. B. Ho is clearly not thrilled with the idea that Mary Cherry is her twin, but she wants to cash in on being part of the Cherry family. "While you waz sippin' Kristal in Beverly Hills," says B. Ho, "I was stuck up in the Bronx raising my own damn self on the six." Mary Cherry is thrilled to have a sister and announces that she plans to get B. Ho brought into the family. You'd think that since this is the season finale and Cherry Cherry's name is being evoked, Delta would come back and make things seriously funny, but I guess that was not meant to be. And Leslie Grossman as Mary Cherry's own Latina twin seems almost as labored a performance as Diane Delano playing her own Australian Uncle Tipton. Plus using the term, "bling bling," even as parody? So winter of 2001!

Sam and Brooke approach Harrison on the stairs and ask him to the prom. At first Harrison thinks it's a continuation of the games from last week's episode and tells them to cut the crap. When he realizes that they're serious, a smile comes over his face. Ew!

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