Carmen is talking to the camera. She announces that this year, on her sixteenth birthday, she is going to get on the cheerleading squad. She’s going to invite all the Blondes into her home, and eat them. Or have them over for a slumber party. Whatever. As she talks, we realize that she’s actually giving a speech to someone . . . who could it be? Could it be . . . food? YES! It’s a big cupcake, with whom she is breaking up, right after "one more quickie." Cut to the Blondes, all gaping in disbelief at the invitations in their lockers. Oh, look! Vomit Girl is also a Blonde - even though she has brown hair. How nice for her. I wonder if the ability to vomit is one of the defining characteristics of the popular. All the girls cackle at their invitations, except Brooke, who seems kind of interested. She says to herself that she must have been ten years old the last time she had a slumber party - at which point the camera shifts focus to Harrison, who is staring at her obsessively from a few lockers away. Creepy, Harrison. Cut it out. Sam has also gotten her invitation. Her hair has more volume than a heavy metal show, more body than a Bud girl. Wow. She spies Harrison spying on the Blondes, and teases that he should crash the slumber party. He’s all snippy (obsession makes you really cranky), but delectably cute as ever. He complains to Sam that he’s sick of being the Friend, then continues to stare balefully at Brooke. The two of them watch as Smug Bitch pretends to call 911 to report several E! fashion emergencies at the home of Carmen Ferrera. Cut to Carmen, slipping another invitation into another locker. Her hair is pretty bouncy, too. I wonder if she and Sam use the same brand of conditioner. Sam and Harrison wince as the Blondes continue to laugh at Carmen. Brooke waves to Carmen, who "cheerfully" (read: anxiously) waves back. S and H try an intervention with Carmen right there in the hall. Of course, tactful Sam has to start things off on the right foot with a jolly, "Carmen, they’re laughing at you." I think she’s been taking the same rhetoric class as Little Big Head. Harrison seems to agree with her. Funny, but there’s no sign of the show-stealing, sub-plot providing Harrison Haircut from last episode. That New-Wave blue streak is back, too. Hmmm. Perhaps they had the shooting schedule backwards? Carmen defends her decision by likening the Blondes to sorority girls (so far, so good), and says that if she can just make it through Hell Week, then she’ll be in (okay, she fell apart there). One Rousing Speech later, involving several declarations of Not Giving Up and Not Being A Quitter, she snits off, leaving H and S looking after her in dismay. Sam tries to say that Carmen’s birthday shouldn’t be about making the Blondes happy, but Harrison points out that it shouldn’t be about making Sam happy, either. Yeah! Stop being so damned self-absorbed, Sam. Sam slumps, defeated, against a wall, while Harrison gives a little speech about being sick of feeling second-rate. End scene with first Harrison, then Sam, stomping off camera. Is no one allowed to stay on camera after something happens?