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The Brain Game

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Gustave: B- | Grade It Now!
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Some Heads Are Bigger Than Others

Back at the Hacienda of the Forbidden Dance, Carmen enters to find Pablo giving a salsa lesson to another woman. It's just dancing, and this realization hits Carmen, flattening her like a flour tortilla.

Backstage at the Big Head Challenge. Mary Cherry, wearing a red feather boa around her neck, announces that although she was unable to bribe the judges to give her the answers, she was able to choose their opponents. Nicole asks who that would be. "The Bush Private School for Special Needs Children," says Mary Cherry. Heh! Nicole smirks. Chem is stoked. The rest of the team seems somewhat horrified at the prospect of competing against retards. The stage manager calls "places," and the gang heads for the soundstage. On their way, Josh asks Sam where Lily is. Sam lies and tells him that she's watching on TV because she doesn't want to make him nervous. Josh doesn't buy it.

The Kennedy High team hits the stage, and the announcer introduces the team from the Bush School for Special Needs Children. It turns out that the team is composed of Cherry Cherry, the three judges from Popstars, and a guy in a wheelchair. Ed McMahon, playing himself, is introduced as the emcee.

Okay, so then this really really meta moment happens. Lily is back at the Palace, studying and having some Evian water. She looks at a Panasonic white TV/VCR combo on the desk in front of her, considering whether or not to turn it on. Okay, that Panasonic white TV/VCR combo is the exact same thing I have on my desk next to my computer so I can recap. I spend like twenty minutes staring at this thing on freeze frame -- a white TV inside a white TV. Moments like these are made for marijuana. She considers turning it on, but opens a generic teen magazine and takes the quiz inside called "Are you with your boyfriend for the right reasons?" Okay, like anyone past junior high would take a quiz in a magazine to solve their relationship dilemmas.

The game begins. Mary Cherry and Cherry Cherry step up to the podium for the first round. Before Ed announces the first category, Mary tells Cherry that she's shocked that Cherry would do something so terrible to her own daughter. "Then you're stupider than I thought," hisses Cherry Cherry. The category is "Abusive Mothers." Cherry Cherry sweeps it, answering questions correctly about Joan Crawford, Susan Smith, and Jaid Barrymore, because after all, she is one of them. "This game is rigged!" whines Mary Cherry.

Back at the Palace, Lily focuses on a question on her teen quiz: "Are you with your boyfriend because he's smart?" She turns on the TV to see Jm J Bullock squared off against Nicole. "Page fifty-four of the new Restoration Hardware Catalog is…" Jm slams the buzzer: "Bathroom fixtures!" You know, I should probably object to such stereotyping of gay men as being unhealthily obsessed with the Restoration Hardware catalog, but it's the damn truth. I love that catalog like a teenage boy loves porn. Furthermore, I just bought a set of cocktail glasses and a floor mop from them and am seriously considering painting the walls of my bedroom with their sage green paint.

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