Sugar and Josh. Kennedy hallway. Here begins the straight-boy subplot. "I got us the perfect crime with no punishment," says Sugar Daddy to Josh. Okay, if we're going to have a motif in this episode, can't it be something visual like a movie? Or at least pick the plot of a book that someone actually read recently. This Crime and Punishmentthing is doing nothing for me. Sugar suggests that they sneak into Cesar Crouton's strip club while they're having the rotisserie chicken special; they can check out naked ladies and eat to their heart's content. Josh is really excited by the prospect of all that chicken. Okay. Sugar Daddy and Josh, who have in the past stuck Emory Dick's head into a toilet and kidnapped a man they thought was Gwyneth Paltrow's personal shopper, consider sneaking into a strip club a "crime" on par with Raskolnikov's murder of his landlady? Hello? Harrison and Emory Dick eavesdrop, and Emory tells Harrison that he wants in on the action. Harrison, who is wearing a shirt that says "99¢ plus tax" in huge lettering, is not into it. He's scared they'll get busted for skipping. Dude, if you keep selling your ass on the street for 99¢ plus tax, you're going to be in much bigger trouble than that. Emory offers to forge one of his famous excuse notes. "I'm just cursed to be the ordinary man," says Harrison comparing himself to Raskolnikov. "Even that Rasta-la-ga-ga guy couldn't even cut it." Emory proclaims that Crime and Punishment is no longer socially relevant. He tells Harrison to check out the Woody Allen film Crimes and Misdemeanors instead, because when Martin Landau kills Angelica Huston, he gets away with it and lives happily ever after. I guess a reference to Woody Allen's airtight moral values eases any of Harrison's fear of doing the wrong thing, because the next thing you know, they're approaching Josh and SD about all going to the strip club together.
Empty classroom. Nicole and Brooke. Brooke wants advice from Nicole about the Sam thing. Brooke hasn't told Jane and Mike yet and is having a dilemma. On one hand, she doesn't want to rock the boat and upset Jane and Mike before the big wedding. On the other hand, Sam could be in some sort of trouble. Nicole tells Brooke that Sam is bluffing and doing this for attention in order to ruin the shower and subsequent wedding. If Brooke tells Jane and Mike, reasons Nicole, the wedding will be ruined and Brooke will be "playing right into Sam's cold unmoisturized hands." "Nothing's going to get to Sam more than coming home to a Martha Stewart-esque bridal shower and finding out she hasn't been missed."