Welcome to the recap of yet another episode of Popular, that lovable, laughable show full of kids just like you and me. The fourth episode opens with a voice-over of a weather commentator, warning people against the craaaazy Santa Ana winds. They are, apparently, usually accompanied by confusion and unexpected hijinks, not to mention romance. Thank God for foreshadowing. A weather advisory warning runs across the bottom of the screen. Those guys are so clever! They actually had me fooled for a minute. (Snicker.) The weather warning is accompanied by shots of hapless teenagers chasing pieces of paper across the lawn of Kennedy High.

Sam is interviewing the new drama teacher. Hand-held tape recorder in hand, she asks the new woman how she plans on investing the musical with her vision. The woman, much to her credit, looks at Sam as if Sam had just asked how she planned on training all those monkeys that just flew out of her butt. "I don’t have a vision. I have a mortgage." Sam looks appropriately appalled and says, "So, you just took on this assignment for the cash?" Ugh. So annoying, so early in the show. The teacher grabs the tape recorder and turns it off. She tells Sam that she’ll have no muckraking in her class: "I like you. You’ve got spunk. [Note for those with a juvenile sense of humor: "spunk" is Australian slang for "semen."] But, you twist my words, I lose my job." Good for you, Drama Lady. You put that slack-jawed Brenda Starr back in her place. She then turns to her little troll helper, Gina the Mute, and demands to know where Josh is. Josh, on cue, bursts in the door, looking like a Calvin Klein model in a wife-beater and sweats. Drama Lady chastises Josh for his tardiness, then wonders where the rest of her actors are. Gina the Mute shrugs and goes back to licking the floor. Since the rest of the actors are conveniently missing, Drama Lady demands that Sam hop on up and help out with rehearsal. After much protesting, Sam finds herself onstage, playing the part of Josh’s character’s daughter. Part of this challenging role entails letting Josh dandle her on his knee while he sits on a pretend tree stump. Drama Lady calls out, "Gina! Sunset!" Gina snaps on a mag light and shines it through an orange gel. The "sunset" is utterly invisible due to the morning sunlight streaming through the nearby window. After a few brief, bitter exchanges between Sam and Josh, he bounces her bony ass on his knee a few times and croaks out a handful of notes. This energetic jostling lands Sam squarely in Josh’s crotch. This leads to a montage of extreme close-ups of everyone’s eyes. The eyes are, of course, shifting about wildly in a sea of greasy skin. In fast forward. With nutty bongo music in the background. Um, in case you didn’t know: bongo music + fast-forward camera motion = funny. My jaw hurts because I can’t stop grinding my teeth. Sam lurches off of Josh’s lap, leaving Josh sitting alone on the stage with his, um, "sunset." That’s what he gets for wearing sweats.