Liars worry about Spencer, who invites them to a party at the Thornhill Lodge to celebrate her recovery. It's next to a landing strip, which seems like an odd thing to telegraph until you remember that this show is balls crazy and A is probably going to fly an airplane into Hanna or kidnap them all for a joyride with dolls or something.

Reporting back to Mona, Spencer's assured that her "reward" for collecting all the Liars will also be there: And I'll tell you now, it's Toby, and Toby is alive, and the whole thing was a big trick to make Spencer go crazy enough that she'd be willing to join the A-Team, but also that Toby is himself only part of these (insane, awful) schemes because he wants to find out who Redcoat is, and only Mona knows who Redcoat is.

PS, Mona doesn't actually know who Redcoat is, because the actual truth is too nuts to be true, so she's also trying to find out. Basically the entire A-Team is just joining the A-Team to be on the A-Team and figure out who else is on the A-Team, which means there's barely even really an A-Team: More just like the concept or negative space surrounding where the A-Team would be, if there were one.

Ezra lies to Aria about how he's not going to get the job temping -- because as Meredith can tell you, the Rosewood ISD is stringent about this -- but really it's so she won't feel weird about ruining his life over and over and over. Eventually she breaks up with him again, and then does that again several times, but he's not hearing her because he is a creepy teacher who just took a job at the school where his statutory rape victim who has told him to stay away from her still attends high school.

In other news, Hanna is now babysitting Malcolm, under the assumption that she is less likely to murder him or give him away to strangers, and this bears fruit almost immediately after he identifies Spencer as "Aria's friend Alison." The Liars set up a really brilliant, beautiful scheme whereby Hanna dresses up as Redcoat, leading her into a Liars sting that is more like an intervention, that is more like a group hug, and she spills the whole deal, including the fact that they've all been invited to a mass murder in her honor.

I'm just gonna say this because I don't know what to do with it, but Jenna and Shana are fucking and they are also in a secret club with Melissa to destroy the Liars and with them any evidence linking them to That Night. The usual NAT Club type stuff. Oh, and Jenna will eventually be going blind again, because that girl just can't catch a break.

That night, Toby and Mona rough Spencer up while the Liars sneak in on the top floor and Mona radios Redcoat -- who is flying a plane into town, because of course she is -- instructions. Once Toby and Spencer get away, and the Liars confront Mona, a third front (presumably the NAT Girls) moves in, locking the girls and Mona inside and setting the whole motherfucker on fire, then framing Toby.

But Redcoat drags everybody out of the fire once they are good and out of it, and even saves Toby, so when they all wake up -- again, including Mona who seems to have become, even in the midst of plotting their demises, a tertiary Paige/Caleb-level Liar -- it's to a rousing chorus of, "I am not sure who Redcoat is but I'm pretty sure that was fuckin' Alison DiLaurentis that just saved all of us. Once again."

But that's too weird, so they all ignore it, just like every time this happens, which is literally all the time.

Like Mona's actual explanation is, "Often when we would spend time together she would be wearing an Alison mask, which is why I don't know who she actually is, but I thought it would be weird to bring that up, because it's weird. So probably we were all high, like we always are whenever we see Ali, and just took that horrible inhuman Alison mask for the real thing. Probably."

(Oh, I forgot the awesomest thing that Mona says: When they're all running around trying to escape the fire without taking a break from bitching at Mona and they're like, how on earth would Redcoat know to blow all of us up for screwing up this plan, she goes, "She can do everything! She's everywhere and she's nowhere!" Like whatever adrenalized hyperreality Mona's got going on, it is still trapped inside the five-dimensional adrenalized hypercube that Redcoat is working with. I fucking love this show so much.)

Anyway, they head home to find Wilden's car in front of Ashley's house, and you know that video is still playing because cop cars are even more indestructible than Mona's belief in herself, but now with an extra few frames on the loop: To wit, the NAT Girls dragging Wilden from the scene not long after Ashley hit him in the first place.

A texts everybody, Mona included, to let them know she's still gonna be up their asses, and then they discover in the cop car's trunk something truly dreadful! But what?

Find out in June, I guess. XOXO.