Pretty Little Liars
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An Unfortunate Accident In A Canoe

He looks over, and sees Toby sitting in the truckbaby with Spencer's head in his lap and they are like, "Bitches, am I right?" Just kidding, he doesn't see Spencer because of her fast lapward reflexes. Just stares at Toby in the face for like one million years and wonders what he thinks that vague loud fight was about.

Garrett: "Hey, Toby! That wasn't anything about a cabal of spying, murdering perverts that we all belong to, okay? Just more of our weird sex games we're always doing in your living room where everybody can see us. Hey, actually, what are you doing the rest of the afternoon?"
Toby: "Sitting in my truck some more."

ENGLISH CLASS

The board says, "THE HUMAN CONDITION," so I guess that's what we're learning about this week. Emily is doing a makeup test or something, from when she was in the hospital, and Ella has no time for her guff.

Emily: "I can't come back after school, I have to do a different kind of community service for those times that Spencer kept beating me up in public. Crisis phone bank."
Ella: "Considering the wild shit that is always happening to you girls, maybe you can be of service in that arena. Hey Emily, what else don't I know about my daughter?"
Emily: "I don't know what you mean. The answer to that question is like if you divide by zero. There is too much to say, and nothing also."
Ella, still awesome: "Yeah, that was really unfair of me to ask you. I am kind of going through something."
Emily: "Look. Aria's the same pretentious douchebag she's always been. You loved her before and thought her nonsense was adorable. Nothing has changed."

AFTER SCHOOL

Aria commandeers Hanna's phone to leave Ezra a ridiculous message about how the parents will be coming around soon. For sure, Aria. That is totally going to happen.

Spencer: "How was that test? You know how important your grades are to me."
Emily: "I was unable to complete it, so we rescheduled. I have to go take on the burden of other people's problems in addition to my own, now."
Spencer, amazingly: "Damn. I was hoping you'd come sneaking around Jason's house with me."
Emily, making a fantastic face: "Bitch, we're back on Jason now? When did this happen?"
Spencer: "The third person in the Jenna/Garrett Threesome Thing is male. Who else would it be?"
Emily: "Ask Aria."
Spencer: "First of all, she's on house arrest for getting statutory raped. Second of all, she honestly believes Jason's been out of town, that moron. Like people go out of town. Like 'town' is a place that people go into and out of."
Emily: "People go out of town constantly on this show. Just because one time it turned out the guy had been murdered in a barn the whole time doesn't mean shit. People spend less time in Rosewood than they do out of it. Like your parents that hate you, for example. Or my ones that same thing. What about Hanna?"
Spencer: "She spent Science doodling me as a witch. Literally, that's how she expresses her rage. Whatever Therapy Anne did for her doesn't seem to have stuck."

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Pretty Little Liars

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