Pretty Little Liars
A Hot Piece of A

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
An Unfortunate Accident In A Canoe

Emily: "It's Hanna, she'll get over it. Take her to that lake house we're never talking about that she fucked Caleb on the couch that time."
Spencer: "Lake house... Maybe the lake house killed Alison!"
Emily: "Sure, whatever. I gotta go."
Spencer: "Never trusted that lake house."
Spencer, verbatim: "...That was my nana's couch. Hanna, you whore."


Hanna: "So the Civil War. That was the one about tea, right? Lucas, are you listening?"
Lucas: "Sorry, I was just thinking about the Louisiana Purchase."
Hanna: "Lucas, concentrate on my needs. They are Special. I cannot even spell Louisiana."

Dear Pretty Little Liars: A little of this goes a long way. What starts as Phoebe Buffay can become, over time, a pretty depressing case of mental illness when you go cartoon like that.

Hanna: "Spencer keeps calling me and stuff, it's really irritating. Oh, she's offering me and Caleb her lake house. How annoying of her to repair our friendship with such thoughtful bribes."
Lucas: "Tell me more."
Hanna: "No problem. She's so high on Adderall right now she'll probably chuck in maid service and a limo if I keep her waiting."
Lucas: "Your life is not like other people's lives."
Hanna: "Check it out! While you were talking I decided to throw a birthday party for Caleb at the lake house! The exact opposite of any of what was offered. And you can help me plan it!"
Lucas: "How did your brain even..."
Hanna: "-- You're Caleb's best friend, it won't be weird at all! You guys are like Patrick and Sponge Bob!"
Lucas: "If you mean that we do gay stuff with each other, no comment."
Hanna: "He was raised by wolves in the forest! He's probably never had a birthday party before! Just a heap of rags and a fungal infection. It's awesome! We're doing this."

There's this complex moment where Hanna tries to sell it based on being important to Caleb and, since they both love Caleb so much, it's the neatest thing Lucas could ever do for Caleb. But her eyeballs are saying, "Since we both love me so much, it's the neatest thing you could ever do for me!" Or at least that's what Lucas hears her eyeballs saying.


Volunteer Wrangler: "Okay, miscreants including Emily and a grown woman wearing Aria's discarded hooker outfit from this morning, here are the rules. Anonymity is key."
Emily: "Um, why would this ever be a community service choice? We are criminals, we're already in deep emotional trouble. I myself am here on a plea bargain after killing several people. This is like putting the men of Rosewood on a rape crisis hotline."

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Pretty Little Liars




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