Pretty Little Liars
A Is For A-L-I-V-E

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
Please, Not Now!

Jenna: "I need a favor."
Emily: "FFS, Jenna Thing."
Jenna: "Darren Wilden was a friend of mine. Not surprising, given the way this show works. No doubt the next time you see me I'll be carrying CeCe Drake's baby, or turn out to be thirty and college roommates with Melissa Hastings."
Emily: "Yeah, that's too bad for you. Because of he died."
Jenna: "But see, all of us are dying. NAT Club, B-Team... Everybody who saw Ali the night she disappeared..."
Emily: "Wait, Wilden saw Ali that night? Jesus Christ, of course. Of course he did, everybody did, it's still happening, there's a line around the block. And hey, did you burn yourself recently? Is that a bandaged burn?"
Jenna: "Look, the next time you see Toby, could you just tell him I'm sorry?"
Emily: "Yeah, that doesn't sound uncomfortable at all. I'll be sure to give him the..."
Jenna: "It's for raping him all the time."
Emily: "No yeah I get it, Jenna."


Feels eyes upon her, like always, but this particular time it's because Jessica DiLaurentis is standing in Alison's exact window, wearing a red top that strikes the eye as something very like a coat. And then of course Spencer's tablet beeps: Wilden's obit, all "Closed caskets keep secrets. His is open and exposes yours. Kisses, Bitches -- A" In case you were wondering whether the funeral was going to be a shitshow.


A personal favorite, MS MR's "Hurricane" (great video, btw) plays over a fairly evocative sequence: Cops carrying in the casket while the ladies watch, a bizarrely veiled blonde entering on her own, and then finally the Liars entering to find the casket in its private room and do recon.

Liars: "So A put something in there, with his rotting, stinking corpse?"
Spencer, verbatim of course: "Since there's a viewing you can assume that he's been embalmed, and that would suspend decomposition and prevent the mourners from having to deal with the rotting and eventual putrescence of the corpse... There's something in that coffin that's incriminating to us."
Aria: "Are you ... really so sure about everything you're so sure about?"
Spencer: "Yes."

Of course Spencer finds the casket, and of course she's only in there a few seconds before Mona steps out of the shadows, having also received the casket message. It takes them a while to figure out that neither of their phones are ringing, and then -- it would be these two, nobody else could do it -- they crack that bitch open and start digging around in his clothes for his phone.

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Pretty Little Liars




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