Pretty Little Liars
A Is For A-L-I-V-E

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
Please, Not Now!

The calls are blocked, but the third and final number on his phone is that thing again, from Mona's hard drive and then again the obituary: "Kisses." Spencer hits redial, and Hanna's phone rings: "Why are you calling me on my mom's phone?"

So three incidents of "Kisses," and Ashley's connection to Wilden is still in play. Which is funny, since the incriminating video that is now taken care of was him getting run over, and but clearly he has been shot a bunch of times and that's probably what killed him, but this is better: Linking Ashley not with his death, but with his life.

The funeral is as usual, with lots of awesome callbacks to Alison's -- Jenna is escorted carefully in by a hottie, despite no longer being blind -- and Ezra awesomely avoids eye contact with Aria in a way she feels entitled to be aghast about, and also he is there with Malcolm's mom like she is his trophy wife which is also excellent.

Hanna: "The hell? Why would A have her number?"
Nobody: "And why do you have her phone? Why are we always trading phones with our parents, a thing that does not happen in reality?"
Mona: "Hanna, there's no way 'we' are letting A do anything to Mrs. M."
Hanna: "You say that like it's going to earn you points, Eddie Haskell. Shut it."

Jessica DiLaurentis: "You girls! ...All look so pretty!"
Liars: "Hey, Mrs. DiLaurentis. Fancy seeing you at another funeral."
This Bitch: "Ali would be so proud of you, Hanna! You've really kept the weight off!"
Hanna: "...And that is why your daughter is a monster. That shit right there."

It's a beautiful moment. Like you can almost see Hanna thinking about how weird it would be if she just punched her right then. She leads the ladies to a pew right up front, and they file in, and oh... No room for Mona. Man, they are doing so great with this. That is beautiful. What a neat, sad, awful storyline. "Remember A? Now that she's come over to their side, they're Mean Girling her somethin' awful. But like, wouldn't you?"


So how Toby is working for A now is that he is driving the Lair Van from the Creepy Farm to some Other Location, while softly weeping over a text message that says, "I know what happened 2 ur mom. Bring the lair and u'll know 2. Kisses." Which is already ridiculous for some reason, but especially because it's still the Lair Van: Like yeah, you're tearing up because your mom died and you're being blackmailed to screw over the girlfriend you just got back for the eleventh time, but you're doing it surrounded by headless baby dolls and a thousand weird masks and like, cloaks. You know?

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Pretty Little Liars




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