Pretty Little Liars
A Is For A-L-I-V-E

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
Please, Not Now!

Mona: "Careful, when you use words like us, my mind goes to this place where I think we could actually be friends again."
Hanna: "And when you do that, my mind goes to this place where I feel like we're going to have sex. Why do you do this thing? Anyway, do you want to go shopping after school just like it's old times, and also I have no other agenda?"
Mona: "Sure. Sure, Hanna. That sounds fun. C'est un rendez-vous. It's a date."
Hanna: "Coco Chanel. It is not a date-date, but fine. Hey, bring those keys you have to that gate where the RV is. And also that chip. Or don't, whatever. nbd."


Vice Principal: "Aria Montgomery, please report to my office."
Aria: "How come?"
Vice Principal: "Because I have all these pictures of Ezra Fitz fucking you! And now he is getting arrested in front of the whole school! Thanks, A!"

He does, and it's amazing, and that's the end of... Oh, it was just a fantasy.

Aria: "How come?"
Vice Principal: "Because take this paperwork home to your mom and tell her to get better soon."
Aria: "Man, I thought something interesting was gonna happen."
Vice Principal: "Oh, come on."

Wait, did we talk about the clothes? Good Lord. Hanna's wearing a... like a washer-woman kind of a headband, in black, with this chartreuse Top Shop dress where the print looks like it's covered in black lace, with a weird belt that looks like a fishbone. Maybe if it weren't Hanna I wouldn't hate any of these things, but the bar is pretty high and after those goddamn tights I was on high alert. (Also she's wearing a wig, but no points off for that.) Aria's wearing a camouflage jacket because what else would she be wearing; Mona is toning it down but not in a terrible direction... I don't know, nothing really sticks out beyond those two Hanna outfits, and their funeral dresses are gorgeous, but man. It's a lot to come back to.

I'm not a stickler, I don't have many strong opinions, and nine out of ten with this show I'm in the wrong, but I really only have three rules: 1. Tights are not pants. 2. There's nothing wrong with flats. 3. Aria's the only one who's allowed to wear lace. (Sometimes Spencer, but only if she's doing her whole Return To Oz/Little Witch On The Prairie thing.)

I always thought the shittier your day is going, the sharper your look should be just so you can feel good about something. The reason soldiers are so particular about their uniforms is that you have to be at your tippy-top best before going into battle, and ladies? It's time.

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Pretty Little Liars




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