Ella: "Oh my God, I can't believe I'm online dating. That Aria is the worst!"
Ashley: "Did you know that dating online is a totally normal thing that people do in 2012?"
Ella: "I did not."
Ashley: "Let's chat about it. But back to how every guy in this town is a pedophile."
Ella: "I got divorced less than six months ago. I am helpless in certain ways I didn't know about, like with plumbing or barbecues or whatever. I realize that I can do these things -- I am fucking Ella Montgomery, I can do anything -- but the learning curve is freaking me out. One of the toilets ran for so long my neighbor showed up demanding to fix it because it was keeping him up."
Ashley: "Listen, sometimes the better part of feminism is shutting up and letting these idiots do the work for you. Whether it's outsourced or DIY, TCB is still TCB. You know?"
Ella: "I do know. I can't believe how long I tried to get those kids off Wikipedia before I figured out that being able to use and think about information is a more effective and worthwhile skill than just crudely cramming it into your head by rote."
Ashley: "And if mainstream culture ever figured that out, we'd have a fucking riot on our hands, which is why the white guys at the top are so desperate to keep information prisoner."
Ella sort of half-assedly mashes random buttons, as though she can startle the computer into deleting her profile, and then just gives up and slurps her drink. #shitmomsdo
Ella: "...I miss having somebody in bed, though."
Ashley: "Pretty soon you'll find yourself sleeping in the middle like he was never there. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an online date. Oh, look at him! You want a piece of this?"
Ella: "Mostly I'm just enjoying being wonderful actresses together."
Ashley: "Even without wine, we are freakin' fantastic."
OPERATION PHILLY SWAN
Got it: The Liars are going through Melissa's shit, while she's off at a movie with her archenemy Spencer. That makes sense. But what's this? She forgot her wallet. Do the Liars receive Spencer's text about this? No. They are too busy looking for her fake baby bump among her creepily OCD closets. (Hanna, duh.)
Emily spots Melissa coming home -- again, girlfriend has it on lock this week -- and they rush around, making a huge fucking mess and spilling crap everywhere (Hanna again, duh again) until the last second.