Pretty Little Liars
Blind Dates

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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At Least I'll Be Alive

LUNCHROOM

Lucas: (Suffers a lunchtime crisis of confidence w/r/t Danielle.)
Hanna: (Sighs, watching Lucas be a total Lucas.)

Caleb: "Hey Hanna! This double date is going to be a total bloodbath, huh?"
Hanna: "You're looking freshly showered. Let's say you take point on this one. I know you know how to talk to girls because of that one time you did me in a tent."
Caleb: "I don't think you're clear on how arrested Lucas's latency actually is. Did I mention we sleep in bunkbeds? And play with toys?"
Hanna: "Mona's always trying that shit with me."

Caleb: "Hanna, we have to do this. He's like our little hermaphrodite baby."
Hanna: "Your dreamy eyes are making me agree with you."
Caleb, zapping her with sex werewolf vibes: "Try this one, it's new."

There's a point late in My So-Called Life where Jordan is trying to get Brian to do something for him, and he shoots Brian so hard with sex eyeballs that it's shocking, and of course Brian totally rolls his eyes and gives in. It's not even gay, it's barely even sexual, this moment, but in some ways it's the smartest thing that ever happened on that very smart show, and definitely my favorite scene ever, because it's such a true thing about how guys -- how people -- are, with each other. I mean, it's not like they're going to start blowing each other or something, it's just like Jordan opened up the glowing briefcase from Pulp Fiction and moonblinked him, and then Brian's like, "Argh, fine, dude. Yes I adore you and yes I will do this thing, just... Put it away."

Anyway, that's what Caleb is like in this episode -- or how Alison was at all times in her life -- just crackin' that baby open wherever it'll do the most damage. I bet he's got Lucas doing his laundry by now. Over Caleb's shoulder, Lucas spazzes in a general way and flees.

Caleb: "So it's a date then?"
Hanna: "It is not a date -- except for how it's a date -- but yes, we will be his wingpeople."
Caleb: (Watches her go; idly shoots sex vibes into the crowd at random.)

HOSPITAL

Wren: "Spencer, why are you at this hospital? I thought the last time I molested you in the bathroom was the last time I'd see you, especially after your sister affianced herself to that other pedophile. Come into this weirdly green area of the corridor and tell me stuff you shouldn't be telling me about the mysterious things I gave your pregnant sister. Or whatever you feel like is burdening you."
Spencer: "Well, for starters Ian actually tried to kill me. Also, I am just 100% bugshit crazy right now. I am as crazy as I get. I am about to lose it. Check out my eyeballs."
Wren: "Intense. Come with me again into an even more oddly lit location. Okay, I gave her 'meds' and 'supplies,' in a vague way."
Spencer: "I think he lives under Jason's yard now! That's close to my house and also every other location on this show!"

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Pretty Little Liars

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