Pretty Little Liars
Blind Dates

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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At Least I'll Be Alive

Then second, he brings it back to the idea that he's going to be shamed at school for reaching above his station, which is a Hanna weakness that's always been a central thread of their relationship. But then, he looks her right in the eye and goes, "I guess I was silly to think that I could let go of who everybody thinks I am and just be who I am." Which, as a continued point-scoring as far as the reasons they shouldn't be together is pretty easy, but then he has no way of knowing that that's pretty much exactly the work she's doing in therapy.

Caleb and Hanna discuss how yes, their hermaphrodite baby would be so much better off if he didn't care what other people think, and Hanna -- awesomely -- gets everybody out of there alive so fast, by putting Caleb's arm around her and snuggling up so that Danielle, by the door, has no choice but to grab onto Lucas's hand.

Whether Hanna's gaming them or not, it's a pretty strong declaration that clears her mind and moots the question: Either way, Hanna's just pushed it beyond the mean game level. So now Lucas and Danielle, just like that, become a couple, and just like that, they all have plausible deniability that Hanna could ever have had an ulterior motive. Caleb, of course, loves it -- and loves even more how she shoves him away and stalks off once their ruse has worked its magic, because Hanna is awesome, and she's clearly almost done punishing him for leaving anyway.

(I thought I was done even thinking this, but thank God Mona wasn't there. You know exactly what she would have done to detonate that shit.)

SPENCER: STILL ACTING NUTS

Spencer watches Melissa pack her car and, since there's now a time limit, heads over to the hospital so she can get Wren to call Melissa yelling about how Ian might have a staph infection, which he'll only treat if he can see Ian face-to-face. Melissa still doesn't know where he is, for some reason, so she's going to find out and then take Wren, and of course Spencer will follow them and be spooky and probably try to hock Ian's staph-infected ass so she can buy a jet-ski.

This whole thing is so confusing I feel like it's worth just letting it lie there for now, or at least until the end of the episode, because obviously Spencer's only getting this intense about it as a buildup to finding out the shocking twist of whatever is going on with Ian, so there's no use overthinking it until we know what that is. I think. As happens every week this season, just the thought of Ian and Melissa and Wren tangles up my brain.

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Pretty Little Liars

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