Pretty Little Liars

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Angel Cohn: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Pump Up the Volume

Previously: Alison turned up dead. Mr. Fitz and Aria exchanged some awkward finger touching. Spencer begged Wren to tell her parents she wasn't a homewrecking slut Chad Dad's mistress got a little pushy. Toby Cavanaugh and his Chin Dimple returned to the hallowed halls of Rosewood High just in time to save Emily from being date-raped in the locker room by that dick Ben. Spencer couldn't process Russian history, so she stole a paper from her sister. The girls went trekking in the woods, heard some noises and found Alison's ugly old friendship bracelet. Hanna tried to hook up with Sean at Noel's seemingly endless party, but he insists on waiting, so she stole his car and crashed it.

Hanna is standing in front of her house, while her mom is talking to a cop. After the cruiser pulls away, Melrose Mom rounds on her daughter and says she thought they were done with the cops. Apparently, while having sex with a detective will get you out of some petty shoplifting, it won't get you out of being punished for nearly totaling the car of a preacher's son.

The girls walk in a park of some sort and ask Hanna how much trouble she got in for smashing up poor virginal Sean's car, and she shrugs it off, saying everyone is being cool about it. They arrive at their destination, which is a dirty old park bench. Aria informs us that it is going to be replaced by the town and the girls will just have to plant some flowers and someone is going to put in some "art tiles", that will share memories and whatnot of Alison. Hanna cracks that they will be like little headstones, and frankly, she's got a point. It's kind of creepy if you think about it. Also creepy, the fact that she's been carrying Alison's ugly bracelet around in her purse for days and she's afraid she's going to lose it or not be able to keep it hidden. She tries to pass the buck, but its sorta like a hot potato and Spencer's the only one willing to catch it. Spencer insists that if "A" decides to spill the dirt he/she has on them, it will only end up getting "A" in trouble as well. Interesting theory, unless "A" leaks stuff anonymously or through another source thereby hiding his/her identity and covering his/her tracks. "A" doesn't seem particularly stupid. Vengeful and vindictive, yes. Stupid? No.

Spencer whips out her computer and decides to set her phone preferences so that it will block all messages, texts, calls and emails from people that she doesn't know. She thinks this will make it harder to get in touch with her, but "A" is pretty crafty and has been known to leave old-fashioned paper notes on occasion. Methinks this isn't a solid plan, Spence. I thought you were smarter than that. Emily hops on Spencer's computer to change her own settings, and I wonder if she's smart enough to make it so that Spence can't later access this because she left it open, because like, what if Spencer was "A" or just wanted to find out Emily's secrets? As Emily's typing, Mr. Fitz rides by on his bicycle wearing shorts. Look, Fitz is cute and all, but he's no shirtless detective. Still, the girls all wave and make flirty catcalls in his direction. Well, exception Aria, who quickly grabs Spencer's computer to change her password (which I still maintain is something that should be done one her own computer) as the other girls talk about which of their teachers they'd like to see riding a bike. Hanna takes her turn on the computer, and Aria asks Emily if she's talked to Ben and if it's really over. Emily says it is and brushes her hair away from her face, and I finally realize who Brenda from Survivor: Nicaragua reminded me of all season. It is definitely Shay Mitchell. They're both gorgeous and have that perfectly shiny hair that I always envied. Phew, that was really bugging me. Hanna finishes up resetting her preferences and wishes for a drumroll as they pronounce themselves "A"-proofed. Yeah, right. Just as they all sigh in relief a piece of paper is whisked over in their direction by the wind. It's one of the missing persons flyers, that's got "Ding Dong the Bitch is Dead" written in big red permanent marker across Alison's face. Of course they look around and see absolutely no one. Big surprise there.

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Pretty Little Liars

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