Spencer's having no luck with the keyring in Ian's office, so of course it's the perfect time for Caleb to appear like a wolf from the shadows and give her some grief about it. He offers a chainsaw to break in -- like that tree that disappeared! -- and to pick the lock for her if she wants, and she's like, "First, close that door and stop lurking, and second of all, there is literally no way I could possibly explain to you what's going on here. There are murders and incest and stress and secret identities and whatever, it's a moment I'm having." And then Caleb is once again fabulous:

"I don't live in a cave," he lies, because I think he does at least three days out of the month, "I get it: The rich girls steal, the pretty girls lie, the smart girls play dumb, and the dumb girls spend their days trying to be all of the above."

Which is just: Succinct. That is in fact what happens. And the reason is that, along with gay dudes, straight girls are the only people whose existence ruins the entire economy of men and women, which is why gay dudes and straight girls are constantly being infantilized. What he's describing is the feeling of being objectified. Being turned into an object works for everybody except the person it's happening to, which makes you feel crazy, claustrophobic, locked up in a synthetic hothouse/tower that everybody is telling you is okay and normal and the way people have always done things. Which just isn't true, and you know it isn't true, so in order to keep that cognitive dissonance at bay -- in order to remain a person at all -- you have to hide: Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody. To survive long enough to grow your hair out and escape, you have to be a spy in your own life. A pretty little liar.

To the dulcet retro sex-tones of Howard Jones, Byron appears and asks Ella to dance with him. She's game, so he immediately takes it to the next level: They should take Aria and Mike and Simone to "that little pizza joint" they used to go. Ella's like, "That sounds great, tell me how it goes." Byron smiles and says it wouldn't be like old times if she weren't there, and Ella's amazing: "It would be like new times," she says, and when he says it's just a pizza she knows different: "Yeah, but it comes with a lot of toppings."