"It was either that or spending a night in Philly with Melissa and her business school friends," Ian smiles. "School dance felt less painful... Melissa knows it's not my scene. I'm more comfortable here." Yeah, dinner with adults and your pregnant wife seems way less interesting than a night of awkward teenage dancing. If you're a pedophile!

Ian goes on a thing about how he used to be more comfortable in Rosewood before the smalltown gossip started, and I'm not sure what he means. (I think I forgot something that he is talking about, because I don't remember any scandals with Ian. Maybe the fact that he left and then came back and then got married? Was there something about him getting his coaching job back?) On the other hand, Spencer doesn't know what the hell he's talking about either, and immediately assumes he's calling her and the Liars out for investigating him. He rolls his eyes at her total paranoia and things get nuclear: "Listen, Spence, what do you say we put the past behind us? We're living under the same roof now. Let's try and be a family." It sends a chill through Spencer, and also everybody watching, because way to push on the bruise of this entire show.

Into the dance -- which is just gorgeous; I've seen a lot of Norman Buckley party scenes in my time and this one beats them all -- and of course old Hanna's brought her flask with her. Hello, old friend! Spencer laughs at her friend's total grossness and tells her to at least fold a magazine around it, and everybody starts showing up, looking lush. Everybody looks amazing at the dance, especially Emily; even including Ian. Whose appearance, it's worth pointing out, always presages a jumpcut back to Ali in the video throes.

Goal one: Get Ian's laptop bag out of the locked drawer in his office by stealing his keys from his checked coat. Goal two: Keep Emily from total meltdown. (This is a secret goal they don't know about yet.) Goal three: Keep crazy Aria from chewing Simone and/or Ezra's face off. Goal four: Whatever horrible thing A is going to make Hanna do. Goal five: Never stop dancing.

Emily points out that without the laptop there's no reason to go to the police, but Spencer's hilariously not buying that: "Look, we saw what we saw. Something went down between him and Alison, and he buried her in the yard to shut her up!" Spencer is so magnificent. It's not like Spencer goes to 11, it's like she lives there.