I had to rewind that shit about sixteen times to make sure it actually happened. The only way that could be more upsetting -- or more honest -- is if they'd jumpcut again to Alison's sex spasms. Just toss the while nasty salad at once. And then you got Aria, who can't even deal with the semi-unconscious sexual warfare of this conversation, and is only there to steal Ian's keys by, get this, pretending it's her dad's jacket. While Spencer heads off with the keys, Lucas tries to remind Hanna that she's there with a date -- "Remember him? Big guy? Likes to hit me? -- and she literally shushes him, like would make Aria proud. You can feel Lucas give in; she feels it too, and it makes her want to barf.
Aria's about halfway to a freakout, asking Ella how long fucking Simone's going to be in town, and offering the opinion that Simone is making a total ass fool of herself. Ella takes her measure, and Aria looks extremely messed up, so her mom finally comes to half of the conclusion: "I think I know what's going on here. You're jealous." Aria scoffs and wriggles and twitches and makes it completely clear that that's what's going on, and Ella tries to be kind about it.
"Honey, she's your old babysitter, and she's your friend, and she's spending more time with Mr. Fitz than you," she says carefully. "But Aria, you gotta cut her some slack. You know it's hard to meet nice guys. Sometimes you gotta strike while the iron's hot. You'll understand one day." She caresses Aria's face and walks off and Aria gives the greatest OMFG of the entire episode -- an episode which is turning out to be just a hit reel of Aria OMFG faces.
I love how everybody on the show understands that Ella and Fitz would be the perfect match, because they're both teachers and they're so great in scenes together, but they also understand that that concept would be too gross even for this show. But then to sidestep it by having Ella be the sensitive, intuitive mom trying to shepherd her precocious daughter through the fantasies of adolescence, that brings the Ella/Ezra dynamic back into it in such a way that it's almost grosser and definitely more awesome. Ella stands in the way not by being authoritative Pam Fields, or selfish Ashley Marin who would sleep with her daughter's boyfriend/crush, but just by being awesome Ella. I love it.
Hanna takes a break to talk Sean out of freaking out, which does not go well. Apparently they're on dance #5, which means at worst she'll come out of this with a grand, which is not chump change. She's like, "Lucas is finally dancing instead of just swaying, I have to keep this shit going," and Sean is like, "You are on a date with Lucas." Which is true. Hanna, as usual, comes prepared: "This is a marathon, not a sprint. There'll be plenty of dances for us!"