Pretty Little Liars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Nukes & Cookies

But in the midst of all this, in order for the world to make sense everybody has to pretend none of it's going on. Spencer again, you can't help but see that fusion effect: Ian and Wren and Ian again, constantly walking in on her in the bathroom or teaching her (and Alison) how to play golf. Old guys always in the space of young girls: The poltergeist of Spencer would be unimaginably powerful. And then too you have Ella, turning a very specific blind eye to the Ezra situation, very intense about this denial thing in a little while, when she'll looks her daughter in the eye and says, "Repeat after me: Nothing weird is going on here."

But so is Spencer -- the number one candidate for an eating disorder, even though Hanna's the Liar with that secret -- actually trying to sleep with every man that comes into her house, or is she trying to chase them away? To solve the problem by pushing the issue? Because that fits with her A-related behavior: Whether it's Toby or Noel or Ian, she's always the one that's convinced this time it's real, and if they can get rid of the guy they'll get rid of the problem -- the secrets and the lies and the awful feelings -- and their lives will go back to being sternly innocent. Maybe she's taking orders from the God of Cold Fusion (aka Alison DiLaurentis), who tells her that if she can explode the reactor things will stop being radioactive.

Anyway, I know that's a download -- and I do try to rein these recaps in from the usual blah-blah -- but this episode is very inspiring and very nasty, and that's a good combo, because it's like a little diorama of all the major things about this show. So the girls are still watching the Alison sex tape, and the only person who can admit that she's fucking Ian -- rather than being murdered -- is Hanna, because she's the only one that actually cares about sex at all. Aria stares and Emily cries and Spencer's like, "She is gripping the ground because she needed a weapon!"

Hanna's all, "Don't yell at me, I'm just trying to give your creepy brother an out!" And Spencer just about turns inside-out thinking about it that way -- "Creepy brother-in-law!" -- but the universe is not willing to give her that one, because the universe knows things are not that simple. It's the reason Ian is constantly cooking in that scary way and talking about how they're family now. In fact, that might be his part of the nuclear situation too: Ian trying to rewrite history and make their house stop being radioactive by forcing Spencer to be a little sister, a little girl. Only problem is, the fusion remains no matter what we do, which is why talking about it is so important.

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Pretty Little Liars




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