WEZRIA

Wesley: "Ezra taught me to drive when I was twelve."
Aria: "When we were twelve."

A random man approaches them, looking insane and blowing the usual "your mother paid me off" trumpet that attends the Fitz/geralds everywhere they go. Wesley tries to play it off in front of Aria, but the guy gets so intense -- "Let's see that pretty smile after I bounce your face off the curb!" -- that Wes eventually clobbers him over the head with a pizza and they go running. Right back to the apartment where he knows they are.

Wesley: "Okay. Truth is, that was my Physics teacher's husband."
Aria: "Gross, you must go to public school."
Wesley: "It's an incredibly long, boring story, its only virtue getting to look at me while I tell it, but the basics are that Ezra inspired me to rebel against our parents and the concept of money. He did it by using his cultural capital to become a white success in academia, as though that didn't also come directly from our class and parents, and I decided to do it by getting thrown out of prep school."
Aria: "This is stupid, but it's my kind of stupid."
Wesley: "Well, first I stepped on the school's insignia, then I made friends with a Jew. No dice. I knew I had to step it up, so I tried to fuck my Physics teacher."
Aria: "I have the most amazing coincidence to report."

Actually, that's not even how she plays it. Because she is Aria, and thus the worst, she actually calls him out for being stupid enough to sleep with a teacher. ARIA! And then, because it's just something you have to accept about this show, she is immediately rewarded for her outlandish hypocrisy by Wes telling her this incredibly mortifying, blush-inducing thing about how Aria is the best thing to happen to Ezra and the worst thing that ever happened to their family, both for the reason that Aria is simply amazing. I mean...