Hanna takes her career as a superhero to the next level, stepping in to get Toby off the Kool-Aid and back into Spencer's arms when he arrives in town as Jenna's squire like the last two seasons never happened. Mona -- who provides Hanna with a phone and antibacterial lotion while doing sixteen other things and slowly taking over everybody's life -- even gets in on the action. But alas, Toby's just as invested in Wrencer as any right-thinking individual may be, and plays his cards close to his giant chest.
But it's the sudden turning point mid-episode where Hanna really gets shit done: A frames Garrett by inviting Jenna to Jason's house for a secret meeting, only to knock her out and blow the place up. And who's there to save her? Hanna and Spencer, of course! It is one of the most awesome things of the entire season, and one we've waited long enough to see. Still on the road to eyeball recovery, Jenna's grateful -- although confused, as usual, by the concept of kindness.
In other news, Ella inspires Ezra to blow off Byron's job offer as a sort of moral Hail Mary, which finally in turn forces Ella and Byron to discuss their daughter's love life in a fashion less passive-aggressive, and more outright aggressive. Also, Maya emails and texts Emily to say she's fine and not to contact her parents, so Emily immediately contacts her parents.
Licensed Teen Pilot Duncan Albert, as it turns out, was the one friend of Vivian/Alison's who got to see behind her masks: He would take her up in his airplane and she'd feel free of all her various attackers. Once again putting Aria into the position of becoming Vivian, Duncan gives her the wheel and then interrogates her about her own feelings and actions toward Alison, finally coming to trust her and giving us the next clue: Alison was back in Rosewood from Hilton Head a good seven hours before the Liars thought, and probably up to no good, during her last day on earth.
A bag of Alison's garbage -- left behind by the St. Germains -- provides several more plotpoints and clues, as it sets up not only Hanna's dramatic Jenna-rescue but also a parlay of sorts between Veronica and her husband's bastard, Jason. It also helps the Liars with a more precise location as to Alison's whereabouts that day: A music festival or something, where she was more than likely meeting either an A lead or A herself...
Whom we'll be meeting in what, an episode from now? Shit, this show has been so good lately I can't even stand it.
Vivian Darkbloom's coat fooled Duncan Albert into approaching Aria, who was still freaking out about Ezra's job in New Orleans and her mother's ambivalence about her statutory. Hanna destroyed yet another phone, leaving her phoneless and with her werewolf all the way in Montecito. Maya vanished into thin air, leaving a bunch of hassle for everybody as usual. Toby got sick of being murdered all the time and left Spencer in Wren's capable, reed-thin arms. Ashley and Ella were on the case, boxes of wine at close hand.
COFFEE & DOWNLOAD
Liars: "That cute guy didn't stick around too long after recognizing the coat. He's been in Florida for a year, and I guess we're going to hang later. They met in a Brookhaven bookstore, where Vivian was probably buying yet more copies of Lolita. The important thing is that when Ali put that wig on and became Vivian, everything was like in Predator vision, so we can bet he's part of the A Thing. I'm sure Aria won't fuck this up."
Spencer: "Speaking of Things, there's Jenna. And Toby, looking rather fine. Oh, and he hates me apparently."
Jenna: "I have one of my eyeballs back, bitches! The only way I could be scarier than with no eyes is with one eye."
Ashley: "I hope you girls enjoyed your coffee break, but there's no way I am buying Hanna yet another phone. Emily, if you guys get murdered you'll let Hanna use yours, right?"
Emily: "I mean, technically yeah, but that's not terribly safe."
Ashley: "Phone's a privilege, not a right. Now give me the info or else you'll live phoneless."
Hanna: "Then I guess I'll just get murdered!"
YR ONE-STOP WONDERWAAL
Amazingly, Mona sets Hanna up with a late-model phone, bills it to herself, and squirts antibacterial on all the girls' hands while she's yappin'. It's pretty great, but also terrifying to see them line up for her ministrations. If Mona were the Alison ringleader, this is how it would be: Consumer products and hand lotion and everybody staring at her like a rabid animal. The Shape Of Things To Come.
Spencer: "If we could harness Mona's entitlement, we could light the Eastern Seaboard."
Nobody: "Yes. She is clearly A and is going to kill all of us with her fifty million secret skills and lotions."
Maya Text: "Dear Emily, everything is fine. Please tell no one. I hope the filth doesn't give you too much heat."
Emily: "Ugh, just when you think you're out."