Pretty Little Liars
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Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 5 USERS: A+
Don't You Wish You Never Met Her?
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!


Spencer was surprised to learn that bragging to UPenn about she's a dangerous mental patient who kidnaps children did not augment her family legacy status, getting her rejected. Toby's mother either committed suicide or did not commit suicide but either way she got her kid raped doing it. Alison made a million masks of her own face because she's just like that, and Emily's injured shoulder is the new bracelets.

In Moms news: Ashley Marin most likely stole ex-husband's gun and used it to shoot Darren Wilden a million times in his perfect face while wearing expensive heels on the banks of Torch Lake. And Aria pushed her mom all the way to a castle in Austria ("twist my arm!") while also ambivalently staring into the gift-horse mouth of her perfect boyfriend, Karate Jake. Most importantly, Pam Fields curb-stomped her daughter in front of witnesses after school for stealing her pills, sending A for the authorities and causing the authorities to hit pause on Afghanistan long enough to bring Dad home (and for Pam to switch places with '80s teen rocker Tiffany on an all-new Celebrity Wife Swap).


Mr. Fields arrives in his uniform just as Emily's headed off to school. I guess with them constantly switching places Pam just couldn't be arsed to pick him up from the airport. He gives Emily a silent hug and then goes inside to lean sideways on the couch with his wife and talk about how their daughter is a pretty little liar/on drugs/lesbian, just like in the good old days. Emily spares them one last goodbye look like, "Sorry all my dead loves of my life keep embarrassing you guys." It's actually quite painful due to how Emily is perfect, and yet keeps looking like a disaster to the people she wants the most approval from.

Meanwhile, Hanna is keepin' up her bitch streak.

Caleb: "So your dad told me your mom shot a gun and then went sneaking around town while she was supposed to be seeing a Broadway musical..."
Hanna: "Fuck you, that didn't happen! Prove it!"
Caleb: "See but these are just facts. If he got shot with a .38 your mom is screwed: Fact. Facts, they are objectively divorced from your opinions or how you would like for things to be in a different universe."
Hanna: "Suck my different universe! You can't handle my infinite nature!"
Caleb: "Okay but I'm going to keep being awesome until you pull it together."

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Pretty Little Liars




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