Holbrook's Lieutenant -- played by goddess-among-women Roma Maffia! -- shows up to help with the case, and immediately takes a shine to Hanna. They turn out Wilden's safe-deposit box and find a bunch of cash, passports and guns because he was shifty when alive, and the end result is that Ashley is no longer allowed to help customers with their safe depositing. (Also that Hanna is horrible to everyone, even Caleb, but that's less a result and more an ongoing process.) This so disheartens her that she finally admits to being in town the night he was killed, but swears to keep Hanna out of it. End result: Hanna is now fully convinced Ashley killed Wilden, but doesn't at all get why that would be awesome.
Sadly, Toby tracks down his mother's therapist upstate and seems to confirm her suicide, but then even more sadly, it turns out that the guy is actually crazy now and has nothing at all to offer -- except that, in one last demented brain-burp, he was pretty sure she was going to be attacked by a blonde bitch with a bad aura. So maybe she was a ninja or maybe not, but either way it's still up in the air about her death. So to speak.
The Fieldses, in a rare tandem appearance, are myst- and horrified by the secrets surrounding Emily's continual injuries and succumbing to various drugs and nerve agents, but they ask just the right questions that she has to abruptly leave the house. Paige talks her through her trauma about the future, and how maybe if she swims again she will die of rotator cuff, and then when they get back home it's to a bunch of cop cars! A has called in a domestic! It's so embarrassing and sad and gross.
Aria gets two good things this week, the second being her adventure with Spencer but the first being that she and Jake run into Malcolm on the street. Which is not a huge surprise because there is only one street. But the huge surprise is that Aria comes clean about almost the entire Fitzgerald/Fitz/Malcolm/Alex Mack situation, which is a totally new and very cool move, and Jake responds with an even cooler concept: "Are you hurt? Or are you injured. Because if you're injured, you get to leave the dojo. But if you're just hurt, shake it off." She says she's merely hurt, but he thinks Ezra is a chronic injury, and kind of dumps her until she figures it out. It is beautiful on every level. He may not be Noel Kahn, because nobody but Noel Kahn is or can ever be Noel Kahn, but he's fucking phenomenal either way.
Aria and Spencer stalk Melissa to Hector Lime's mask shop, where a surprising amount of Melissa stuff is revealed: Yes, she was one of the Queens of Hearts, yes, she was at the Lodge, yes, she was blackmailed into helping Wilden at various times. But everything has been about protecting Spencer, she hated Wilden, all of them were acting on someone else's mysterious orders, and the B-Team was at the Lodge because they wanted to see if the Liars could get Redcoat out of the shadows: It was, in fact, Wilden who set the fire. Melissa gave Hector the same deal Emily did -- her face for his secrets -- and we learn that they also think Ali's still alive, and orchestrating all of this.
Oh, and Lime saw Ali on her way out of town, desperate for cash, but that seems less like an answered question and more like something that we are going to learn more about later. And there was a really long convo between the Hastings women about what Melissa should wear to San Francisco or London depending on where she goes, and the answer was trenchcoats!, and then Spence dropped the UPenn rejection bomb, and her mom like could not process it, and it was kind of amazing.
In summation, it was a fantastic episode with fantastic Roma Maffia crushing it every which way, Hanna has jumped up her game considerably, Aria is having the time of my life, and Spencer actually squeezed about a hundred B-Team answers out of Melissa. Melissa, who is always reliably fantastic when you get down to it, but whose sketchiness draws such a hazy shroud across everything it's just one Big Sleep. So yeah: Who killed Wilden? Still don't know, still don't care. Miss him/Not sorry he's gone. Ashley and Melissa agree. (Everybody agrees. That man was not well-liked, despite his charm and sunny demeanor.)
Next Week: It's an away game as the gals crash a sorority party, A starts physically menacing Emily -- I think including the Medusa mask -- and somebody drives a car through a wall. I feel like it will probably be a Marin, but I hope to God it's not the Marin's house, I love that freakin' house. Actually at this point it will probably be Emily's house, because it's the only worse thing that can happen there at this point.
Spencer was surprised to learn that bragging to UPenn about she's a dangerous mental patient who kidnaps children did not augment her family legacy status, getting her rejected. Toby's mother either committed suicide or did not commit suicide but either way she got her kid raped doing it. Alison made a million masks of her own face because she's just like that, and Emily's injured shoulder is the new bracelets.
In Moms news: Ashley Marin most likely stole ex-husband's gun and used it to shoot Darren Wilden a million times in his perfect face while wearing expensive heels on the banks of Torch Lake. And Aria pushed her mom all the way to a castle in Austria ("twist my arm!") while also ambivalently staring into the gift-horse mouth of her perfect boyfriend, Karate Jake. Most importantly, Pam Fields curb-stomped her daughter in front of witnesses after school for stealing her pills, sending A for the authorities and causing the authorities to hit pause on Afghanistan long enough to bring Dad home (and for Pam to switch places with '80s teen rocker Tiffany on an all-new Celebrity Wife Swap).
Mr. Fields arrives in his uniform just as Emily's headed off to school. I guess with them constantly switching places Pam just couldn't be arsed to pick him up from the airport. He gives Emily a silent hug and then goes inside to lean sideways on the couch with his wife and talk about how their daughter is a pretty little liar/on drugs/lesbian, just like in the good old days. Emily spares them one last goodbye look like, "Sorry all my dead loves of my life keep embarrassing you guys." It's actually quite painful due to how Emily is perfect, and yet keeps looking like a disaster to the people she wants the most approval from.
Meanwhile, Hanna is keepin' up her bitch streak.
Caleb: "So your dad told me your mom shot a gun and then went sneaking around town while she was supposed to be seeing a Broadway musical..."
Hanna: "Fuck you, that didn't happen! Prove it!"
Caleb: "See but these are just facts. If he got shot with a .38 your mom is screwed: Fact. Facts, they are objectively divorced from your opinions or how you would like for things to be in a different universe."
Hanna: "Suck my different universe! You can't handle my infinite nature!"
Caleb: "Okay but I'm going to keep being awesome until you pull it together."