Peter: "The cops'll be here soon, so we don't have a lot of time. Let me run through the bullet points as quickly as possible. First, I wrote that check to a private investigator. After she disappeared. Because I was trying to protect -- no, not Jason, although this was around the time I did the hinky stuff with their grandma's will -- but in fact the crazy bitch that you know from personal experience will come right on up after your ass if you mess with her man."
Spencer: "Oh my God, you thought Melissa might have killed Alison for hitting on her man? As a person who has slept with every single one of her boyfriends (except Ian, whom I instead caused to be murdered) that makes a damn load of sense."
Peter: "I'm not saying she killed Alison. We all killed Alison that night. But I think she might have been the one that killed Alison."
(He goes downstairs to tell the cops how a bitchy ghost stole his gun. Spencer is given time to take like half a breath before it all starts up again.)
Melissa: "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you -- just sneak up on you. After our house was broken into and our dad told you that I killed your best friend."
Spencer: "Where have you been? And do you know how little I trust you right now?"
Melissa: "In direct contravention of my constant pleas and protestations that I don't want to be here and how I have my own condo in the city, I fell asleep watching TV in our barn earlier."
Spencer: "J'accuse! The TV in the barn is broken!"
Melissa: "Uh, I was watching it on my computer? Like everyone else on earth?"
Melissa: "Dude, I gotta get out of here. You're being weird, I suddenly hate our parents, there's blackmail that was or was not happening that may have caused our father to allegedly kill a little girl -- it's a lot. So I'm going back to my house. Do you want to come?"
Spencer: "As always, it has been a pleasure."
Melissa: "Are you sure? I'm going to stop by the quarry first -- there's plenty of pitch-black night left where anything could happen. At the quarry."
Did Ashley buy it? Of course not. Being A would be a total Spencer move, they should have just sent her in instead.
Ella: "I know, Aria can't lie for shit. I don't know why they think she's the best liar. It's just that she's the most boring one because she doesn't really care about anything or anybody."
Ashley: "I wish Hanna were more like that. So listen, how are we gonna track down this A?"
Ella: "I don't know, but you better not go to the cops. This A is a pretty bad character. We've had dealings."
Ashley: "Is there anybody A isn't fucking with?"
Ella: "Basically, just my daughter. Everybody else is fair game."