Mikey: "On another topic, since you're doing whatever I say today, I think you should break up with Ezra Fitz. It kind of ruins everything, every part and aspect of what should be a really fun time in your life. Also, for everybody else. Also, it's disgusting. And I think maybe Dad would calm down about protecting your virtue if, you know, you didn't just balls-out keep asking them to be cool with you fucking an adult. Even one as immature and bizarrely self-contained as you are."
Aria, verbatim: "Look, when you love someone, it's worth fighting for! No matter what the odds."
Mikey: "That bullshit right there? Exhibit A, my friend."
Emily: "Dad, I'm so happy you're here for the Father/Daughter Dance! I just wish Mom was here too, for the Mother/Daughter Guilt Trip."
Dad: "I have some awful shit to tell you, but I'm going to spring that on you at a much less convenient time. For now, tell me all about how your girlfriend Maya is gone and missing and dead and is never ever coming back to this show."
Emily: "I wouldn't go that far."
Emily: "What I didn't tell the cops when they asked me is... any of the facts I know relating to her disappearance."
Dad: "That sounds like a smart idea. Go on."
Emily: "I'm pretty sure she ran away to San Francisco."
Dad: "How come?"
Emily: "She told me she was going to run away to San Francisco."
Dad: "I see."
Dad: "Well, I'm guessing she took the Greyhound, and that she'll be staying in a YMCA when she arrives."
Emily: "What makes you say that?"
Dad: "I was a teen runaway once too. I was quote 'lost' in high school. And very, very gay."
Peter: "Have you noticed your sister is a total bitch? Anyway, want to come to the Country Club and do some Country Club things there?"
Spencer: "I have to study. Thanks for trying to buy my affection with shiny jewelry, though. Sets a real healthy precedent."
Peter: "For our date tonight, I made reservations at your favorite restaurant!"
Spencer: "I just wish I had a mother. How long are you going to be gone?"
Peter: "Just about long enough for you to rifle through my office, skipping the locked drawer but locating a check stub made out to CASH from around the time of Alison's death in the amount of $15 grand."