Melissa bitches out on Spencer about how she can't find Ian because he's too busy getting Stung, and Spencer shows her like the slightest compassion which is mindblowing because it's Spencer, and they realize Melissa left her phone at the church, so they turn around, but then I guess they run into Lucas and Caleb and have a big accident. For once, Hanna's not in the car. Well, spiritually she is in Caleb and Lucas's car, so I'm going to blame this accident on her, as usual.
I mean, they never show Lucas and Caleb in the other car, or mention this at all, but there's literally no other reason to have the paragraph preceding this one even exist. Show four characters in two cars in the same basic area of town, and then a collision, it really just makes sense those scenes are connected somehow, Truffaut. So it's either sloppy or it's super sloppy, but either way thanks a lot, Hanna. Caleb and Lucas looked like they were about ten seconds from making out and you ruined it.
Out in the forest the Liars are worried about Spencer, because she's not answering the phone and the sun is going down and the beast can't live without its head. If Hanna's going to be masterminding this operation you know they'll all end up somehow stuck in the trees with wolves nipping at their heels, or driving a car into a lake. If Emily takes point there'll be a group hug, Ian's "heart" will grow three sizes, and they'll end up buying him dinner. And if Aria's in charge, somehow this will become about Jackie Molina and we'll just completely forget about Ian and Alison altogether: "Guys, I really think Jackie Molina might be A. It all fits. Think about it!"
Melissa: Stable but not great. Baby: Possibly in real danger. Mrs. Hastings: Actually comforting Spencer at the hospital. I love how she's discovered parenting lately, and how Spencer only had to go bugshit insane in like four different ways before she noticed. Right around the fake golfing trophy covered in rat blood old Mrs. Hastings was like, "My daughter may be in need of some TLC."
Here's a cute little scene in the forest where, as usual, Hanna gets it on a level nobody else does:
A: "Buckle up, bitches. Nothing is as it seems!"
Emily: "Does A know we're here?"
Hanna: "Pssh. A knows everything."
Nobody can find Ian, so Spencer offers to go check the church for Melissa's phone and "see if he's there," even though she knows where he is, but just then the cops bring her phone from the accident, so she sees all the texts from Aria and calls to update the Liars on her latest disaster. They tell her to hang tough, and then Ian drives up. But it's not Ian yet, it's Garrett, because Emily called him without telling anybody (I think) so they all act suspicious and Hanna once again rocks the mic: