Pretty Little Liars
For Whom The Bell Tolls

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
The Kook, The Crank, The Blind & Her Mugger

Out in the forest the Liars are worried about Spencer, because she's not answering the phone and the sun is going down and the beast can't live without its head. If Hanna's going to be masterminding this operation you know they'll all end up somehow stuck in the trees with wolves nipping at their heels, or driving a car into a lake. If Emily takes point there'll be a group hug, Ian's "heart" will grow three sizes, and they'll end up buying him dinner. And if Aria's in charge, somehow this will become about Jackie Molina and we'll just completely forget about Ian and Alison altogether: "Guys, I really think Jackie Molina might be A. It all fits. Think about it!"

Melissa: Stable but not great. Baby: Possibly in real danger. Mrs. Hastings: Actually comforting Spencer at the hospital. I love how she's discovered parenting lately, and how Spencer only had to go bugshit insane in like four different ways before she noticed. Right around the fake golfing trophy covered in rat blood old Mrs. Hastings was like, "My daughter may be in need of some TLC."

Here's a cute little scene in the forest where, as usual, Hanna gets it on a level nobody else does:

A: "Buckle up, bitches. Nothing is as it seems!"
Emily: "Does A know we're here?"
Hanna: "Pssh. A knows everything."

Nobody can find Ian, so Spencer offers to go check the church for Melissa's phone and "see if he's there," even though she knows where he is, but just then the cops bring her phone from the accident, so she sees all the texts from Aria and calls to update the Liars on her latest disaster. They tell her to hang tough, and then Ian drives up. But it's not Ian yet, it's Garrett, because Emily called him without telling anybody (I think) so they all act suspicious and Hanna once again rocks the mic:

Garrett: "So, no one else knows you're here but me?"
Hanna: "Well, I left a note for my mom in case anything happened to us."
Aria: "Did you really leave a note for your mom?"
Hanna: "Yeah. Dear Mommy, I went to the woods to trap a killer."

Because they have apparently switched bodies, Spencer is now the Hanna and Hanna is now the Spencer, because what Spencer is doing is wandering into the creepy empty church and calling out into the echoes and scariness and generally just looking to get beaten to death by the killer or Ian or whoever.

Meanwhile, in the forest, Ian shows up and Garrett pulls a gun on him, but it's not Ian again, it's the new character that the fans voted to name Logan Reed. (No, I am not kidding, there was a poll and "Logan Reed" won, despite sounding like everybody who ever raped a nurse on General Hospital in the 1970s). So this second non-Ian was just and only paid by Ian to bring the money to them so that he could be free to go kill Spencer in the church. Which is totally what he's doing!

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Pretty Little Liars




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