Pretty Little Liars
Gamma Zeta Die!

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 54 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
You Will Like Cicero Or You Will Be Whipped
Veronica: "Ashley, why am I here in the middle of the day? Is it because you killed the shit out of Detective Wilden?"
Ashley: "Kind of. But listen, that's only the first of many problems I have."
Veronica: "I will look into this for you, I know everybody at Rosewood PD. But is this as a friend? Or as a lawyer?"
Ashley: "Hopefully both! I'm not great with boundaries. Or with money. If you want money, you know where it is. Right over there in that pasta cabinet. Just grab whatever."
Veronica: "Okay, well. You sit tight and I will just ask you for zero information at this time even though I came here specifically to hear your side of the story."
Ashley: "Don't you even care if I'm guilty?"
Veronica: "Honey, I really don't. Why does literally nobody understand how defense law works?"

THE BREW

Amazingly, Brendan's first order of business is to bring up how homegirl is every race. That's so awesome! Maybe I should be a freelance college-admissions fixer. Spencer interrupts, because Emily isn't allowed to have anything that Spencer has. Like Melissa with boyfriends, or Emily with Toby.

Spencer: "Emily, stay right here. I got a plan."
Brendan: "Uh, me too. Seconded."
Spencer: "So I know we're meant to be focusing on Ivies and going to Brown and whatever, but I'm gonna need a pass to visit Cicero College. Or you will be whipped."
Brendan: "Are you seriously not even going to pretend to let me do my job? Look, clearly the actual deal here is unclear to you. I have family connections to every department of every college in the entire world, and I can get you in anywhere. This whole thing is a formality. Do you really not get that higher education is entirely a scam intended to consolidate power and cultural capital in the dynasties of people like me? I'm doing you a favor just by being white. That and pretending not to care about the estate tax."
Emily: "I would also like to visit Cicero."
Brendan: "Done."

MONTGOMERY

Aria: "Mike? When did you get home?"
Mike: "Like a minute ago?"
(Rimshot. Nicely done, show.)
Aria: "So how come you talked our mom out of fleeing the bees? It's very selfish to be a child and expect your mother to be around and parent you. Dick move, son."

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Pretty Little Liars

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