Pretty Little Liars
Gamma Zeta Die!

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 54 USERS: A
You Will Like Cicero Or You Will Be Whipped
Veronica: "Ashley, why am I here in the middle of the day? Is it because you killed the shit out of Detective Wilden?"
Ashley: "Kind of. But listen, that's only the first of many problems I have."
Veronica: "I will look into this for you, I know everybody at Rosewood PD. But is this as a friend? Or as a lawyer?"
Ashley: "Hopefully both! I'm not great with boundaries. Or with money. If you want money, you know where it is. Right over there in that pasta cabinet. Just grab whatever."
Veronica: "Okay, well. You sit tight and I will just ask you for zero information at this time even though I came here specifically to hear your side of the story."
Ashley: "Don't you even care if I'm guilty?"
Veronica: "Honey, I really don't. Why does literally nobody understand how defense law works?"


Amazingly, Brendan's first order of business is to bring up how homegirl is every race. That's so awesome! Maybe I should be a freelance college-admissions fixer. Spencer interrupts, because Emily isn't allowed to have anything that Spencer has. Like Melissa with boyfriends, or Emily with Toby.

Spencer: "Emily, stay right here. I got a plan."
Brendan: "Uh, me too. Seconded."
Spencer: "So I know we're meant to be focusing on Ivies and going to Brown and whatever, but I'm gonna need a pass to visit Cicero College. Or you will be whipped."
Brendan: "Are you seriously not even going to pretend to let me do my job? Look, clearly the actual deal here is unclear to you. I have family connections to every department of every college in the entire world, and I can get you in anywhere. This whole thing is a formality. Do you really not get that higher education is entirely a scam intended to consolidate power and cultural capital in the dynasties of people like me? I'm doing you a favor just by being white. That and pretending not to care about the estate tax."
Emily: "I would also like to visit Cicero."
Brendan: "Done."


Aria: "Mike? When did you get home?"
Mike: "Like a minute ago?"
(Rimshot. Nicely done, show.)
Aria: "So how come you talked our mom out of fleeing the bees? It's very selfish to be a child and expect your mother to be around and parent you. Dick move, son."

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Pretty Little Liars




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