Pretty Little Liars
Gamma Zeta Die!

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 54 USERS: A
You Will Like Cicero Or You Will Be Whipped
Spencer: "I am busy, I'm about to bully a college nerd in my pursuit of bird knowledge."
Hanna: "Spencer but I was just in my mom's closet and I..."
Spencer: "Leave your poor mother alone! You're already giving her quote a 'Britney Shears' in your sleep, you can't keep doing this. I gotta find Boardshorts in this area code."
Hanna: "But Spencer I found a literal gun in my mom's shit..."
Spencer: "Let no Pretty Little Liar escape the madness of my single-minded pursuit of justice! Click! Now, to shit on Aria somehow so I can call it a day."

Hanna is literally standing in her kitchen, at this point, with the silk scarf-wrapped handgun sitting on the kitchen counter, as more and more doors throughout her house are being opened and closed by forces unknown. (A potted plant flies at the patio door out of nowhere! Crash!)


Spencer: "Hey, nerd. How's it going, being such a big nerd? For me, it is going great."
MRA Nerd: "I don't know anything about any unlisted phone numbers, Fake Geek Girl."

Spencer rallies, geeks harder and harder. (Fake Geek Girls are not a real thing. Spencer is the first and only person who has ever appealed to someone's interests in order to get something she wanted. Allowing men to judge you for existing is the pussy way out.) Then dude flips the script, trading a male-written narrative about women's right to exist in consumer space for an even dumber male-written narrative about clingy girlfriends. (Who also are not a real thing and have never existed, except in cases where they do, and then go online to freak out about how they allowed men to judge them for existing instead of blowing them off because they're nerds and don't actually matter.)

MRA Nerd: "Tracking down an ex? I know girls like you. You got the crazy eyes."
Spencer: "They're not that crazy."
MRA Nerd: "Crazy enough."

Spencer turns it up to a million, and the guy finally relents. Can't stop won't stop.

MRA Nerd: "Okay. First three numbers means it's on campus and ... the next three numbers means it's on Greek Row. I can't tell you anything else, but I'm praying for the guy."
Spencer: "A Lannister always pays his debts."
MRA Nerd: "You would like the Lannisters."
Spencer: "Bitch, you have no idea. But I've also got entire Targaryen speeches memorized, so now I am three awesome things. Later, boner."

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Pretty Little Liars




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