Ashley: "Hanna, I just got the shit creeped out of me by Detective Wilden, who is now threatening you and me both. I didn't even drink with dinner, and now I have the shakes. Where are you? I'm driving home right now, but it could be a while because I'm taking the Dead Man's Curve route that goes through the Haunted Woods."
Spencer comes home, freshly kissed by the latest in hot pedophile professionals.
Melissa: "Whoa, you almost look showered. What got you out of bed?"
Spencer: "Oh, you know. Fresh air. Mental health. New perspective."
Melissa: "I know it's none of my business -- you know, beyond the fact that he's one of multiple fiancés of mine that you've hooked up with -- but No Company is better than Bad Company."
Melissa: "That cologne all over you? I bought it for Wren."
So you're saying he's a bad dude? There's something sketchier about him than the fact that he has hit on half the teenage girls on this show and broken literally every single regulatory guideline in the history of healthcare, at this point? GREAT. That's Spencer's catnip, and she'll probably find a way to spin this warning into you being jealous, so, if you could please, Melissa: Leave it at that. Why say explicitly today what you can vaguely refer to tomorrow, as the saying goes. When somebody darkly and scarily warns you not to date somebody, I suggest you just let that slide and find out for yourself. A lot of times those butterflies just can't survive the extra data, you know what I mean?
Ezra: "...And these toys for sure are going in the garbage. Fuck that kid, he doesn't need fun soft animal toys. At least not as much as I need to be super petty and childish."
Aria: "Tantrum's not a great look on you. Shouldn't you at least give that stuff to Goodwill? (Where your son at least has a shot at them? Boom! Poverty zinger!)"
Ezra: "He doesn't even know he's my kid yet, where's the finesse? You can't just start giving children presents right away, they see through that. To truly seduce an innocent, you must begin with compliments, gestures. Perhaps a poem about a jukebox."