Byron: "As long as we're hanging out here in the middle of the daytime for no reason, let's have a stressful and unsatisfying fight about Mikey."
Ella: "Mike is not your brother, Byron. I'm not pilling him up without due process."
Byron: "Tell that to his suicidal uncle."
Ella: "It would be nice for him to have the option of the talking cure before we bury him under SSRI's, that's all I'm saying."
Byron: "You are not a doctor like I am!"
Ella: "Of Literature! End of disco."
Aria: "Hey, are you guys just hanging out here in the middle of the day talking about pumping Mike full of drugs?"
Byron: "No. Stop talking. None of your business."
Ella: "Her brother's mental health is totally her business."
Byron: "I have to stomp away now. Farewell."
Hanna: (Cute conversation with Caleb, interrupted by Dad; Grandma Regina's on the case.)
Regina: "Hey, let's talk about what a bitch Isabel is. Do you have any info?"
Hanna: "Oh my God, Grandma. Dad's happy. I have to pretend that's all that matters."
Regina, verbatim: "Happy, what's happy. Cows are happy, they end up sloppy joes."
Ashley: "...Oh Lord, my former mother-in-law."
Regina: "You look prettier than Condoleeza Rice! I'm reorganizing your kitchen, of course."
Hanna: "In even scarier news, I'm supposed to give a toast with Kate. The girl who is going to kill me after A kills me."
Regina: "No, fuck it. Let's get drunk and not involve ourselves in any part of this bullshit wedding."
Ashley: "Oh my God, Regina."
Regina: "Nope, Hanna and I have agreed that we have to sabotage this wedding."
Hanna: "That's not exactly what I..."
Ashley: "Seriously! I am not in love with your son and he's not in love with me. Where were you during this storyline? It already happened. And put my kitchen shit back."
Regina: "Are you lying to yourself, too?"
Hanna, kind of loving it: "On a near-constant basis, Grandma."
Aria: "Mike, turn off that generically sad emo music and come downstairs. And stop talking to strangers online about your feelings, especially if they are ghost ninjas using you to get to me. And stop making our parents upset or else they're going to get divorced again. And stop starving yourself. And stop bugging everybody and being a crybaby."
Mike: "Fuck off, Aria."