Pretty Little Liars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Sweet Disposition

"Beading is hard on the eyes, you know?" The black-gloved person Mrs. Garrett's bringing a nice cup of tea gets hissed at by an off-camera cat. "Oh, don't be startled, that's just my pet! Where was I? Oh yeah, the eyes. You have interesting eyes, dear. The eyes are the window to the soul. Not to worry, dear. I did exactly what you told me to do..."

So I mean clearly we're meant to think that she's talking to Jenna, Jenna of the mysterious bracelet, and the creepy tag is only sometimes A, so who knows who she's talking to or why they made Mrs. G say the "Spencer Hastings" thing -- or even if it's that to which she's referring -- so basically, all you have is Charlotte Rae having the time of her life playing a bead store maniac to the hilt, and it's so great that it doesn't matter what it means or if we'll ever come back to it. Edna Garrett with googly-eyes is worth the price of admission no doubt.

Next week: Paige abducts and cuffs Emily for a hateful/loving lady-date that ends in tears for everybody; A sends pictures of their date to Maya, who returns to town on a motorcycle vowing revenge, but now that she's an ordained minister, they distract her with officiating at Ella and Byron's remarriage ceremony. Aria and Ezra reenact the car-crash scene from Great Gatsby after finally admitting their mutual sexual obsession with car accidents.

Spencer contacts her arms dealer in South America, deciding to take the fight to the capitalist pigs who hold us all in abject slavery. She is aided only by the mysterious Toby and the triumphantly returning Noel Kahn, who makes out with Jason DiLaurentis for a good ten minutes right in the middle of the episode for no real reason at all except this show is constantly getting more and more awesome and they're running out of ways to top themselves.

Needless to say, getting run over by Aria puts Hanna back in the hospital just in time for Round Three with Lucas, who has taken to wearing a hairshirt and writing emo songs about her, much to Cyberwolf's chagrin. He returns the volley by reprogramming all the hospital equipment to beep helpful messages at her, aiding in a swift recovery. Oh, and it turns out Jenna is actually Alison in a wig and giant sunglasses, and nobody noticed.

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Pretty Little Liars

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