Oh, well. If Byron Montgomery had his little feelings hurt, let's just call the whole fucking thing off. God forbid.
Melissa runs into a stationary store to get hundreds of thousands of more thank you notes, I'm talking like a thirty-pound box of stationary, and Mona and Caleb park outside. Emily, in a second car, watches from across the way. We're once again reminded what a good actress Janel Parrish is.
Mona: "Dome light on or off?"
Caleb: "We're not setting the mood here, we're trying to get caught. Light on. All lights on. Hands where I can see 'em."
Mona: "Caleb, I know you hate me..."
Caleb: "Yeah, I do. Let's not go there."
Mona: "We have to go there! We both love Hanna, and that's why we are in this situation."
Caleb: "See, I've been curious about that. When you say 'love' are you saying..."
Mona: "Once I murdered Alison DiLaur... I mean, once Ali disappeared, Hanna and I got really close. We had makeovers and became the queens of Rosewood. And then suddenly you show up, and you're so repulsively awesome..."
Caleb: "Thank you?"
Mona: "...And I was just dating whoever, the lacrosse team, and I was jealous."
Caleb: "That makes sense. If you also factor in that you're crazily territorial and conniving."
Mona: "Those are implicit, yes."
Caleb: "Then let's do this."
They make out, awkwardly at first, but once Mona says the creepiest thing she can think of -- "Caleb, don't stop! We're doing this for Hanna!" -- he really leans into it. Melissa sees them, stares like any of this would matter to her, and Emily watches the whole thing go down. It's pretty sick.