Pretty Little Liars
If These Dolls Could Talk

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Shoppe Of Li'l Horrors

CAR

Emily: "Maybe you're overthinking this. After all, you're doped up on two different medications these days."
Spencer: "It was very real. I could still smell her cream rinse!"
Emily: "'Cream rinse'? What is this, a Judy Blume novel from 1979? Anyway, the same thing happened to me that time I stupidly got trapped into snorting car exhaust while the Chuckie Dolls were bossing us around."
Spencer: "You had a visitation from Alison?"
Emily: "Yeah. Or I mean, no. My explanation for the fact that this has now happened to all three of us is that she took our brains hostage when she was brainwashing us into being her Dracula brides, and we won't stop hallucinating her until we find out how she died. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go talk to those renters who are moving out of my house so Pam and I can move back home."

Text from supposedly Maya: "Thanks for telling my parents I'm alive! You are a traitor! P.S., I am still the worst."

MARIN

Ashley: "Hey Hanna, remember that time you got blown up saving that blind girl the other day? Is there any more info on that?"
Hanna: "Not that I recall. Not really paying attention much."
Ashley: "Allow it. Okay, and question number two, why is your purse ringing?"

It's the Mona Phone, Caleb calling, which Hanna explains as being a gift from Mona so she can provide 24/7 support while Mona is recovering from Noel Kahn and/or being bullied by A and/or her other many Mona Crises.

Ashley: "Hanna! There is no room in this house for secrets and lies! Not with all the orphans you keep dragging home!"
Mona: "Hey, Mrs. M! You look smokin' hot as usual."
Ashley: "Mona, you know damn well Hanna's not allowed to have a phone right now. Feel free to come live here whenever you feel like it, but no phones. Too convenient."
Mona, oblivious: "Gotcha. Hey, is that an egg white omelet? You're the best mom ever. See ya!"
Ashley: Is taken with Mona despite herself, because Mona is the best.

FITZ OFC

Aria arrives with coffees; Ezra is wearing all-charcoal and looks beautiful today.

Aria: "Dad's off at another conference in Vermont! Let's drink coffee and make out!"
Ezra: "Most people do that to celebrate getting a job, not turning one down."
Aria: "It doesn't count when your girlfriend's dad made up the job to stop you statutory raping her. Everybody knows that."
Ezra: "Okay, then let's make out."
(He is awkwardly not 100 percent feeling this; Aria becomes awesome for a second.)
Aria: "He's three states away! You can at least lean into it."

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Pretty Little Liars

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