Pretty Little Liars
If These Dolls Could Talk

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Shoppe Of Li'l Horrors

Meanwhile, Aria drops off a note about how she's going somewhere with Spencer after school, and on her mom's desk she finds a file from Byron: Turns out he's not in Vermont conferring but in fact is there checking out boarding schools where they will protect what's left of her virtue. This would piss anybody off, but it seems ideally suited to push all of Aria's buttons. I hope she goes apeshit.

BROOKHAVEN

Some old hick lady eventually shows up outside the doll hospital to tell the Liars that they are not open for business today, and Spencer puts on her best Country Club smile and begins to interrogate her. They don't sell a lot of dolls, the lady explains, particularly not the scary burlap kind Alison was so fond of -- the one in the window was a random drop-off, apparently. Aria spots a scary little boy in the window staring at them from between all the doll heads, and somehow keeps it together.

The old lady invites them inside, and introduces them to the little boy: Seth, age nine. He looks a little like Melissa's kid with Jason DiLaurentis might, if you know what I mean. The old lady takes the whole troop down into the horrific body-parts basement, babbling the whole time about how she doesn't really like working there and that her sister used to run the place, and how kids these days only [my brain automatically blocks out sentences that have that phrase in them] and how the faces, the faces of the dolls, etc.

Seth: "Y'all are askin' about them voodoo dolls. Summer afore last, when I's seven, a girl came askin' about them dolls."
Old Lady: "Seth, you hush. Or keep talking."
Seth: "She wanted to know who bought it and why."
Emily: "Did she look like this picture I have as my screensaver?"
eth: "Yes'm but with dark hair."
Emily: "Okay, so that's either Vivian, Melissa or Jenna. Or, you know, anybody on Earth. Did she have sunglasses on?"
Seth: "No ma'am, this would have been at the time Jenna was either sighted or away at that blind school in Philly. Dumb question."

Hanna: "So did you guys ever figure it out?"
Seth: "No'm, I tole her a man and a woman wanted to hurt her."
Liars: "Wait, what?"
Old Lady: "Oh yeah, he's psychic and can tell the future. Did I not mention that?"

Nope! No you did not.

Liars: "Okay so what about this couple?"
Seth: "Similar to the other girl, in that they had dark hair and no sunglasses. And an agenda."
Old Lady: "That's enough of this freakshow, I think."
Seth: "Musta been terrible, all that dirt in your lungs..."
Everybody: Stares.

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Pretty Little Liars

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