Ella: "...How did you manage to make yourself the asshole in this situation?"
Aria: "I AM ARIA MONTGOMERY!"
Melissa: "Spencer! Lovely to see you. Want to help me write thank you notes for that shower they held for the dead man's baby in my womb?"
Spencer: Staring, twitching.
Melissa: "Whose duffle bag was that in your bedroom? That's a normal question for a person to ask."
Spencer, hysterically: "Why were you in my room looking at my duffle bags?"
Melissa: "I needed a stamp, as a certain boyfriend-stealing snoop might say."
Spencer: "Look into my eyes when I say this so I can gauge your reaction. The bag was... Formerly Alison DiLaurentis's!"
Melissa: "Ugh, throw it out. You'll get Hep C."
Spencer: "Or murdered!"
There's a pretty neat moment where Spencer is about to retreat and then realizes she's just going to keep freaking out 100 percent of the time until she stops running from this and -- satisfying, but especially on this show where more things happen than on any other show but nothing really ever seems to happen -- pulls out her tablet and shows Melissa the video of herself busting into Alison's bedroom looking crazy. Yes!
Melissa: "Ugh, you're so boring. I thought we were past this. And where did you even get that? Did you steal that video from Ian?"
Spencer: "I can't even remember anymore. Why was this happening?"
Melissa: "I was looking for Ian, I busted in, they were already in there, I left."
Spencer: "So you didn't tell anybody that you saw Jenna and Garrett snooping in her bedroom the night she died?"
Melissa: "Please, add them to the list of people who hated her. Then it will include literally everyone."
Spencer: "Okay, then you won't care if I take this to the cops. The cops who are not Garrett or Wilden, I mean."
Melissa: "See if I care!"
Melissa: "Just kidding, I do care! Here's a vague threat for you. There are more videos where those came from -- or do you not remember what the NAT Club was about? -- and some of them reflect rather ill on you and your little compatriots. Yes, I am blackmailing you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have thank you notes to write."
Sometimes this show's so unbelievable but then other times it's like watching a documentary about my family.