Mona: "Dome light on or off?"
Caleb: "We're not setting the mood here, we're trying to get caught. Light on. All lights on. Hands where I can see 'em."
Mona: "Caleb, I know you hate me..."
Caleb: "Yeah, I do. Let's not go there."
Mona: "We have to go there! We both love Hanna, and that's why we are in this situation."
Caleb: "See, I've been curious about that. When you say 'love' are you saying..."
Mona: "Once I murdered Alison DiLaur... I mean, once Ali disappeared, Hanna and I got really close. We had makeovers and became the queens of Rosewood. And then suddenly you show up, and you're so repulsively awesome..."
Caleb: "Thank you?"
Mona: "...And I was just dating whoever, the lacrosse team, and I was jealous."
Caleb: "That makes sense. If you also factor in that you're crazily territorial and conniving."
Mona: "Those are implicit, yes."
Caleb: "Then let's do this."
They make out, awkwardly at first, but once Mona says the creepiest thing she can think of -- "Caleb, don't stop! We're doing this for Hanna!" -- he really leans into it. Melissa sees them, stares like any of this would matter to her, and Emily watches the whole thing go down. It's pretty sick.
Looking altogether glamorous, Hanna and Spencer wait around for a sign that A has seen Hanna's best friend and boyfriend making out in a car outside a stationary shoppe.
Spencer: "What I can't believe is that you got him to do it."
Hanna: "What I keep telling myself is that it proves he loves me more than he hates her."
A: "Neener neener!"
Hanna: "See, idiot? Your sister is A!"
I don't even know where they are right now, but it's official: They are packing up every single Alison-related thing they've got into one single box -- that will no doubt immediately be stolen, destroyed or otherwise rendered useless -- and taking it to the cops. No more fucking around.
Emily: "So I had to drive Caleb home -- he didn't even want to be in a car with her after that. And the whole time he's ranting about Jenna and Garrett and like, why isn't this about nailing them. To him, that's the enemy."
Spencer: "Sorry everybody's stressing out, I just needed proof. Additional to the preponderance of proof we've already collected."
Hanna, amazingly: "This was the limit! What will you demand next, hiding in her closet? RUBBING HER BELLY UNTIL THE BABY CONFESSES?"