Emily: "My guess is he thinks he knocked up Alison and we haven't been polite enough to tell him otherwise yet, so he thinks he's in danger of his actual evil deeds being figured out. Which deeds, I presume, have to do with him being -- like everyone else in this whole world between the ages of like 19 and 35 -- an associate or tangential member of the NAT Club."
Pam: "Who wants breakfast? It fulfills me as a woman to cook and to clean."
Hanna: "I'm ungrateful! Later!"
Pam: "Hanna is the best, I'm not gonna lie. But that bitch is filthy. She needs to fold her shit and put it where it goes."
Emily: "She has 99 problems. Giving us all MRSA is merely one, and low on the pole at that."
Pam: "Speaking of crazy people, how is Spencer?"
Emily: "She's perseverating on the fact that the dead body was Toby's, like she does."
Pam: "That girl is like a dog with a bone. A scary, morbid, macabre bone."
Emily: "Any help you can give me by illegally passing me information from the precinct would be really great."
Pam: "My maddeningly correct views on parenting say, okay. But only because I don't want those girls pulling you down with them. Why can't they just have zero problems all the time? Why can't they be more like Aria?"
Emily: "The first and last time anyone will ever say this about anyone, but yeah. It's weighing on me having to be both the Emily and the Spencer at the same time."
HUGE PUBLIC DATE
Ezra: "Why are you acting like being seen together splitting a cruller, holding hands, kissing, discussing our relationship and generally acting like tools is a bad thing? Just because you told your principal, my new boss, a lie that we have never dated?"
Aria: "I would love to do those things absolutely anywhere, except here at this bistro where we are doing those things literally on the sidewalk of the only street in Rosewood."
Ezra: "Not getting it. Hey, remember how you nearly killed my kid five minutes ago? I was wondering if you'd like another chance to kill my kid, later on today. Don't worry, I will lie to his mother about it and bring us all down in flames."
Aria: "Just pick him up from karate? No prob. I know where the karate school is because I once goaded a boy there into nearly dying, which later gave him a massive drug habit. Hey, does your son have any congenital heart issues?"