Oh, side note: Alison's grave is totally empty.

GOT A SECRET?

The Liars find her somehow, slumped against a cemetery tree, still drunk and Ambien-zombied out of it, and determine that she was not the digger of the hole, due to her still being completely out of it. Like, locked in a barn with a running car out of it. Seems she was merely summoned there to the empty grave by a Blocked Caller, stood around weeping for a while, and then went back to sleep. You coulda figured Emily would lose it after the whole Maya thing, but even so I am very impressed. This is some next-level shit to start the season with. We are less than six minutes into the episode and we've already got quite a tangle.

Hot Mess Emily: "I don't remember actually wandering to the cemetery."
Spencer: "And also it says that you got a call from my phone while we were asleep, which means this is a setup because somebody was in my house calling you. So I think we better leave."
Aria: "After wiping Emily's prints off that shovel. You know what a motherfucker shovels can be. And but who would do this?"
Hanna: "One of the many twisted psychos that are all the people we know?"
Aria: "The only twisted psycho we for sure know is locked up at Radley."
Hanna: "That's so awesome in so many ways that the mental institution is called Radley, but also please don't segue into shit-talking Mona every chance you get. I am still ambivalent about that."

BACK AT HASTINGS

Spencer: "Emily, remove absolutely everything you're wearing. All of your clothes."
Emily: "Between this and the Radley thing, I think this show is onto its fanbase."
Spencer: "Okay, who would benefit from Ali's body being missing? Her killer."
Emily: "Also the killer of Maya."
Spencer: "Duh, Emily. So who are the suspects? Garrett's in jail, Jenna put him there so she's no longer on our list. My bitch sister is off in Philadelphia. Must be an unsub."
Emily: "Or literally anyone else on this entire show?"
Spencer: "Shh, I'm expositing. Whilst burning your outfit in my fireplace like a hockey stick."