Ella (!): "I remember this picture of you that you gave me on Mother's Day! And also this headline about your friend who was murdered. Let's chat about it."
Aria: "I would rather talk about even more awkward things."
Ella: "Cool. Sorry your dad's such a drag. I just want you to know that I, for my part, do not consider your birth or childhood a complete waste. And your dad's coming around..."
Aria: "Just tell me I'm not to blame for your divorce."
Ella: "No, that has to do with the fact that your father is a dick in a few key ways."
Wait, what? Yeah. It's over. Isn't that a huge deal? Isn't that so interesting and kind of marvelous? Yeah. So let's see how long it takes Aria to make this conversation about herself and her relationship with Ezra.
Aria: "Remember how you always told me to be myself? Thanks for letting me be the version of myself that dates a grown man."
Record time, even for that one. Well done.
SOME COFFEE SHOP
Toby meets Emily, and they compare notes on looking eternally mournful. Turns out Toby's loft is above this coffee shop, and he lives there for free while he renovates the coffee shop and resists the romantic advances of Lex Luthor.
Toby: "Spencer's got a test or something, so I'm allowed to hang out with you."
Emily: "I'd say I'm happy to see you, but that would run counter to my unending misery, so I'm going to ask you about Jenna Thing instead."
Toby: "Jenna? Oh, she's doing great. You know her. Big ball of fun. Hey, how are you feeling about your dead friend getting dug up?"
Emily: "I'm feeling like I need to disclose some information to you about that."
THE LOST WOODS!
Spencer goes to that scary motel with the awesome guy, pulls herself together, and heads into the woods. She is followed! It is scary! Commercial break!
Mona's HQ has been thoroughly cleaned out, down to a bare lightbulb and a spooky table. Spencer pulls out a bunch of stuff, like a laptop -- the laptop, probably -- and gets to work on being paranoid in some new and amazing way.
Caleb gets nosy about Hanna's neverending appointments with the woman who is apparently not his mother, and even refers to their relationship as "intimate," before Hanna gets a call from a person named "R.S." She lies and says it's Spencer calling. What is going on! All these Liars are Lying and we don't know exactly why! What a thrill it is, to start a new season. Unreliable narrators abound.