Mona led our ladies on a merry chase, involving talking dolls and Black Swans and so very much hustle. Byron had trouble dealing with his daughter's inappropriate relationship, while Spencer was working overtime to get cool with her newfound brother Jason -- and the mysterious NAT Club of which he, Jenna Thing and Garrett were members. Garrett went to jail, Mona went to the mental hospital, and Jenna is no longer blind. Mona's troubles were tough on Hanna, but not as tough as Emily took Maya's murder.
FIVE MONTHS LATER
Errbody gettin' tipsy and staring at the Spooky Barn while they fill us in on their summer activities: Emily built Habitats for Humanity and became a full-time alcoholic, Hanna took a cooking class and learned a new word -- girl, I missed you so bad -- while Spencer took a full load at Hollis, and Aria is suddenly a gifted photographer. I guess they didn't have a summer program in Poetry/Singer-Songwriting/Pottery/Fashion-Mishappery, which is really the area where her talents were starting to blossom. That class was full up, so Photography it is.
But then, this whole show being about the torture of being looked at, maybe that's the best thing for her. Like how Serena was able to so swiftly fuck up being Gossip Girl, but with the added frisson of how pretentious/precious/precocious photography can so quickly get. I bet you anything it's just 100 percent Victorian lace and dolls and the occasional nostril, in a sepia tone. "I call it, ophelia on the waterfront i coulda been a contender. This is what's called Mixed Media."
A Text: "Show me your boobs! -- A"
Liars: "We are so over A! But thank God it's just been shit like this. We shudder to think what would happen if we were somehow thrust once more into a glittering web of lies and shame from which there is no escape. Show me your boobs is strictly JV."
Emily: "I should show some motherfuckers my boobs. Fuck it."
Liars: "We do not comprehend your full and total breakdown, despite how it is obvious."
Hanna: "We support your alcoholism."
Emily: "It makes me bring everybody down and bring up Maya for no reason."
Liars: "Um, a toast to dead Maya. Off to that Old Folks' Home in the sky."
Everybody is, like usual, asleep on each other's butts. Except the door is hanging open and Emily has taken her plaid-shirt crazy out into the forest, where she is... Oh dear. Apparently Emily has decided to dig up Alison's dead body? Emily, you magnificent nutcase! Said it before, say it again: Always thought Aria would be the first to crack.