Oh, side note: Alison's grave is totally empty.
GOT A SECRET?
The Liars find her somehow, slumped against a cemetery tree, still drunk and Ambien-zombied out of it, and determine that she was not the digger of the hole, due to her still being completely out of it. Like, locked in a barn with a running car out of it. Seems she was merely summoned there to the empty grave by a Blocked Caller, stood around weeping for a while, and then went back to sleep. You coulda figured Emily would lose it after the whole Maya thing, but even so I am very impressed. This is some next-level shit to start the season with. We are less than six minutes into the episode and we've already got quite a tangle.
Hot Mess Emily: "I don't remember actually wandering to the cemetery."
Spencer: "And also it says that you got a call from my phone while we were asleep, which means this is a setup because somebody was in my house calling you. So I think we better leave."
Aria: "After wiping Emily's prints off that shovel. You know what a motherfucker shovels can be. And but who would do this?"
Hanna: "One of the many twisted psychos that are all the people we know?"
Aria: "The only twisted psycho we for sure know is locked up at Radley."
Hanna: "That's so awesome in so many ways that the mental institution is called Radley, but also please don't segue into shit-talking Mona every chance you get. I am still ambivalent about that."
BACK AT HASTINGS
Spencer: "Emily, remove absolutely everything you're wearing. All of your clothes."
Emily: "Between this and the Radley thing, I think this show is onto its fanbase."
Spencer: "Okay, who would benefit from Ali's body being missing? Her killer."
Emily: "Also the killer of Maya."
Spencer: "Duh, Emily. So who are the suspects? Garrett's in jail, Jenna put him there so she's no longer on our list. My bitch sister is off in Philadelphia. Must be an unsub."
Emily: "Or literally anyone else on this entire show?"
Spencer: "Shh, I'm expositing. Whilst burning your outfit in my fireplace like a hockey stick."
Meanwhile, Aria and Hanna randomly come across Lucas, who is running around in the middle of the night, so they decide not to follow his car. I'm not entirely sure how this came about, but the girls head back to HQ -- where Spencer has ordered a full-group fall-back to the lakehouse.