Aria goes to the bathroom with her horrible purse and gorgeous blowout, can't lock the stall door, and is immediately menaced by a hoodie. She screams for a while, and then there's nobody there, and then she goes fetal, and the others come running. Apparently Aria has panic attacks now. God, that's so Aria. Of course she does.
Hanna: "Well, it wasn't A. I heard from an unnamed source that she's still comatose."
Spencer: "Bitch crazy, Aria. You heard?"
Hanna, verbatim: "Don't worry, Aria. Someday we will all have jubilation."
It would be asking too much for Spencer and Aria to respect Hanna's newfound love of the English language with a straight face, so they crack up and then congratulate her on her vocabulary and it's so, so excellent. I hope this is an ongoing feature. Group hug.
Spencer checks out the Black Swan thing online, somehow.
A Very Glamorous Veronica: "Homework. My busy little beaver, take the long weekend off. Not that it means anything to you or would stress you out, at least as far as I'm aware."
Spencer: "Don't you worry about me. Or Melissa either. Hastings Women are not affected by shit."
Spencer ignores the Unknown caller once again, and heads out.
Ella (!): "I remember this picture of you that you gave me on Mother's Day! And also this headline about your friend who was murdered. Let's chat about it."
Aria: "I would rather talk about even more awkward things."
Ella: "Cool. Sorry your dad's such a drag. I just want you to know that I, for my part, do not consider your birth or childhood a complete waste. And your dad's coming around..."
Aria: "Just tell me I'm not to blame for your divorce."
Ella: "No, that has to do with the fact that your father is a dick in a few key ways."
Wait, what? Yeah. It's over. Isn't that a huge deal? Isn't that so interesting and kind of marvelous? Yeah. So let's see how long it takes Aria to make this conversation about herself and her relationship with Ezra.
Aria: "Remember how you always told me to be myself? Thanks for letting me be the version of myself that dates a grown man."
Record time, even for that one. Well done.
SOME COFFEE SHOP
Toby meets Emily, and they compare notes on looking eternally mournful. Turns out Toby's loft is above this coffee shop, and he lives there for free while he renovates the coffee shop and resists the romantic advances of Lex Luthor.