*(After the original Friday The 13th killing spree, they closed Camp Crystal Lake and opened up Camp Packanack nearby, which is where Jason actually started killing people. We have to call Alison-Maya-Jason's house something, so there you go. Thank you for your time.)
Aria is dressed like an X-Men Pirate adventure, except for her '80s geometric midi-skirt and the usual insane earrings (porcupine quills and Navajo beadwork, natch). Her mother is dressed like a person, except for the giant purse which 100 percent of the time signals a lady with problems.
Ella Montgomery: "Aria, after that long weekend of killing and blackmailing and stashing bodies and holding hands with old creepsters, you have the right to take a day off from school. Just don't send me any more sexts."
Aria: "I'm going to go ahead and take the opportunity to bitch at you for leaving dad again, somehow."
Ella: "Yeah, about that. You were kind of right in the horrific deal you pulled last season about shitting or getting off the pot w/r/t ruining our family while still boning your father in secret. I'm moving back in."
Aria, gorgeous smile: "Yeah, that was harsh. But I'm glad it changed your mind."
But where, I'm honestly asking, is Noel Kahn?
On the blackboard is a hangman, complete, with this L _ A R _. (Which, considering we on the outside call them that but inside the show it doesn't mean anything, is weird.) But even for the gruesomely jaded students of Rosewood, that is kind of harsh. Of course, Spencer's freaked but doesn't show it, while Aria just kind of grits her teeth because she doesn't actually give a shit about anybody else. Ezra rushes in wearing a well-tailored lavender number and starts erasing it and then...
I'd know that voice anywhere! Before you see him, there he is! NOEL KAHN!
The Secret is REAL! Wishing is REAL! I wished so hard and it came true!
Noel Kahn: "Need some help with that, Mr. Fitz?"
Everybody, Even The Music & Other Classmates: "Shit yes! Noel Kahn!"
Noel Kahn: Staring! At Aria! It's been so long!
Mona is wearing some bizarre cage of a knitted/sheer-striped toile number that makes her look like the Hamburglar, which maybe that's a clue. Mona is A! The A of hamburgers!